


Spitting Games

by sunsetglow (suchfun)



Category: 2PM
Genre: AU, Coming Out, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-03
Updated: 2014-02-03
Packaged: 2018-01-07 10:19:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 22,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1118741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/suchfun/pseuds/sunsetglow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>There's a lot to be said for self-delusion when it comes to matters of the heart.</i>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Does this mean he acts gay? If someone saw him on the street, would they think he was gay? Would the casual observer think he and Taec were on a date right now?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Spitting Games

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written for the 2010 [One Day Big Bang](http://onedaybb.livejournal.com) where [bek](http://archiveofourown.org/users/bek) was my saviour. Reposted from [here](http://morago.livejournal.com/6881.html).

Jay sees her and knows immediately that she’s The One. He would never tell anyone he thought such sappy shit, not ever, but she’s so fucking _fine_ that there is no way that she does not belong with him. She's not too tall, she has shiny hair and lips, and she's not even overdone—she's just wearing jeans and a frilly top-thing—but she still looks amazing. 

When she smiles Jay can see her teeth gleaming, even in the laser-lit club, but it's when she laughs and looks up that he notices there's a tall guy at next to her, holding her hand. They look cozy, close, and Jay can feel the jealousy working its way through his body, from his chest and then radiating outwards, down to his limbs, spiking at his fingertips, and he kind of wants to—

But then the guy laughs too and turns around, and they are just _way_ too similar-looking not to be related. Her brother, then, or a cousin. Not the competition. Jay feels himself relax, and he grabs Khun's sleeve and wrenches him over, away from the fifty million slutty chicks vying for his attention.

"Who's _that_?" he asks over the music, gaze never leaving her as the relative twirls her onto the dance floor. "She's got _moves_."

Khun rolls his eyes, not even making an effort to see who Jay's talking about. He seems focused on some dude dressed in bright yellow dancing in the corner, and Jay would be annoyed if he hadn't just found his future wife. "Which one? You say that every time."

"It's different this time, man," he insists, gawking openly now as she shimmies from side to side, her smooth movements offsetting the brother's stiff shuffle. They spin, the relative's back to Jay, completely blocking his view of her, and he scowls, trying to see around them. "She is _fire_."

Khun nods and pats him on the head, palm bouncing against Jay's perky fauxhawk. "Of course she is. They always are."

+

When he finally gets to her almost an hour later, slipping between her and some scary dude who thinks vibrating is dancing, she's more than grateful and offers to buy him a drink. He makes her laugh at the bar, and then they talk some and it turns out her name is Jihyen, she's Korean, and as well as being super-hot, she’s also really smart. Even though it makes him feel a little bit like a moron, like when she uses big words and knows what their drink total will be without the use of a calculator, he’s kinda digging the fact that he managed to score such a well-rounded chick. 

Well, maybe not scored _yet_. But it’s only a matter of time.

+

After some severe contemplation, involving a borderline-lewd discussion with his crew and some vigorous alone time, he decides a few days later that the best way to win her over is to get in with the brother. He was a fucking giant when Jay finally saw him up close, with huge teeth and ears to match, super-dorky and kind of touchy, but Jay can’t be picky, not with such high stakes.

He gets Giant Teeth's phone number off Khun, because it so conveniently turns out Khun actually knows him from college, and has just finished dialling when he realises he has no idea about a name—so far he's just been referring to him as Giant Teeth, and Khun has always known exactly who he's talking about. He is about to hang up and call Khun back when he hears a breathless voice say, "Hello?", and then he's stuck.

"Ah. 'Sup?" he says, flustered but trying not to show it, clawing desperately at his cool. "This is Jay. You know, from the club the other night? Khun's friend."

A moment of silence, before, "The... little bitter guy or the even littler one with the moves?"

Jay grits his teeth. "The second one."

"Cool, man, I've never seen anyone dance like you, you were amazing! Even if I did keep losing sight of you in the crowd."

Jay frowns and wonders if he should feel flattered or offended. He settles on a mixture of both and then suddenly realises he's drumming his fingers on the kitchen bench. Frowning, he grabs an apple from the fruit bowl his mom optimistically keeps stocked up and bites into it to distract himself, because feeling nervous about speaking to a dude is one-hundred percent fucking gay and totally _not cool_. Even if it _is_ about a girl. "Yeah."

"Okay." There's silence again, awkward and stretching, and Jay rushes to fill it in.

"I just thought… you seemed… I mean, you know. You wanna—" And he cuts himself off. Maybe he should've thought this through a little more, because everything he's saying sounds like he's asking Giant Teeth on some kind of gay-ass date, which is _not_ … it's just _not_. "Fuck it," he says finally. "I really dig your sister and I don't wanna look like a desperate fucking stalker in front of her so I kinda thought you could… Yeah. You know. Help."

Jay wonders for a brief moment if he's fucked everything up, but then the dude just laughs and he immediately knows everything's gonna be cool.

+

"Nichkhun told me about you," Taecyeon says as soon as Jay sits opposite him in the diner booth the next day. He crosses his arms and narrows his eyes, and Jay freezes mid-grab for the menu, startled by Taecyeon's tone. "That's the only reason I'm doing this. I'm not exactly in the practice of whoring out my sister for random dudes."

"Okay," Jay says. He slowly wraps his fingers around the menu and carefully draws it back towards himself, eyes never leaving Taecyeon's. "That's cool. I don't usually rely on the help of weirdos with huge teeth to score chicks but your sister's kinda an exception."

Jay is again left wondering if he's made a mistake as soon as the words leave his mouth, and they stare at each other for a few moments, the edges of the laminated cardboard biting into his skin. But then Taecyeon's eyes crease and his mouth stretches into a grin, and he laughs, kinda dorky and giggly but endearing all the same, particularly now that Jay knows he isn't going to get punched.

"That's what Khun said you'd say," Taecyeon says, and calls the waitress over.

+

After an hour or so, Jay realises that Taecyeon isn't really that bad. Obviously, he'd rather be spending time with Jihyen, but at least he's working his way there.

He's even discovered that he and Taecyeon—the fuck, that name is too long to even _think_ , so Jay just decides to go with just Taec—have a history of sorts. They've both been Khun's friend for a few years, from different social groups, and they've even been to a few of the same events. In fact—

"I remember you," Taec says ominously, "from Khun's twenty-first."

Jay cringes. Khun's twenty-first birthday party had been a weird night for him, and one that he usually prefers to forget, but obviously Taec, if the smug grin he's failing to suppress is anything to go by, feels exactly the opposite.

"You were the dude who kept losing beer pong and got the stocking like three times!" Taec says, completely abandoning his attempts at a straight face and dissolving into laughter halfway.

Jay doesn't remember it at all, since it was the only time in his life he's ever given into peer pressure and been drunk, but there are a shitload of pictures on the Facebook of everyone at the party of his head squished into that stocking, so it's kinda hard to deny. Khun had told him the next day that it was the best party he'd ever been had. Jay's pounding head and constant vomiting had forced him to disagree, but he'd never been able to shake that legendary status the whole thing had landed him with.

"It was twice," he corrects sharply, "and that wasn't my fault."

"Oh, okay." Taec immediately sobers and nods, and Jay is surprised by how easy it is to intimidate him.

Until he sees the sparkle in Taec's eye, and the quiver of his lips as he holds in more laughter, and realises that he's having absolutely no effect on Taec at all.

"This is a fucking conspiracy," he says. Taec pulls an exaggerated sad face and helps himself to one of Jay's fries, snickering the entire time.

Jay forces himself to remember the curves of Jihyen's body in her jeans so that he doesn't punch her beloved brother in the face.

+

Jay is out jogging with Peatry before b-boy practice when he sees Taec again. Peatry is being particularly annoying, pausing to sniff at every tree and bush in existence, constantly stopping and starting and making it impossible for Jay to get a good rhythm up. He's pretty terrible at jogging anyway—he can dance for hours, but he doesn't have the right kind of cardio training for any sort of decent running time. It's something he occasionally thinks he should do something about, but then someone shows him their new tune or there's a new power move to learn and really, he has priorities.

They're passing their local park-cum-basketball court when Peatry stops for ages at what is apparently a fascinating tree stump. Jay tries to pull him away a million times but he's pretty stubborn for a little guy, so Jay has no choice but to stand around stupidly, waiting for his dog to stop inhaling some other dog's pee.

Thankfully there's a dude playing basketball nearby for entertainment. Jay turns his hat backwards so he can watch properly and tries not to laugh because even though this guy's tall, he's also _really_ fucking failblog.

He's just so… uncoordinated. It's like he has no sense of rhythm, no idea what to do with his massive limbs, performing such jerky movements Jay thinks that he would hate to see what he's like on the dancefloor—and it's that very parallel that makes Jay realize he _has_.

He has, because it's Taec.

"Shit," he breathes, cringing as Taec takes his fifth shot at the basket from directly underneath it, which not only misses but bounces back to hit him in the shoulder.

Peatry pulls on the lead, finally ready to leave, but Jay directs him over towards Taec instead, intrigued by his terrible playing. He stops a few feet away as Taec gets as close to the hoop as he can, stands on his tiptoes, spends way too long aiming, takes another shot, and _still_ misses.

"Great shot, man," Jay says loudly, and Taec starts, turning around to face Jay as the ball rolls away.

"Jay," he says, surprised but grinning. "You live around here?"

"No, I'm here because it's _not_ my local park."

Taec rolls his eyes. He moves closer and squats in front of Peatry, holding out a hand. Peatry sniffs it and must sense Taec's offensive levels of harmlessness because he rushes forwards, rubbing his body against Taec's legs. Taec laughs. "What's its name?"

"Peatry," Jay says, snickering at the amount of fur his dog is leaving on Taec's pants. "I wanted Homer but my brother's a douche."

"I had a hermit crab when I was thirteen. I wanted to call it Krusty but my sister said it was gross." He looks up from rubbing Peatry's stomach and grimaces. "We called it Princess instead."

"Suits you," Jay teases, and Taec performs some sort of weird, silent mocking laugh that Jay decides to ignore.

"So you come here often?" Taec gives Peatry one last pat and stands. 

Jay frowns, because he had forgotten just how irritating their height difference is. "You trying to hit on me?"

"Yeah, I just can't resist you in a hat." Taec waggles his eyebrows and flicks the brim of Jay's cap before turning to go get the ball, which rolled to a stop in front of a nearby tree. Jay follows, but only to leave Peatry in a shady area, tied to a 'NO DOGS' sign. As Taec approaches, Jay sidesteps him and grabs the ball, dashing to the hoop and scoring a layup. He catches the ball as it exits the hoop, turns back to Taec and raises his eyebrows in a challenge.

Taec sighs, and it's obvious that they both know Jay's gonna kick his ass, but it's something Jay's sure they can both live with.

+

It takes no longer than thirty seconds for Jay to realize that Taec is just as shit at one-on-one as he is at around the world. He has the height that should be perfect but he still has no idea what to do or how to play, chasing Jay and flailing awkwardly whenever Jay goes for a basket.

It's not an effective strategy and Jay beats Taec eleven baskets to one, which Jay only let him have because he felt kinda sorry for him.

"Why are you even here?" Jay puffs, stealing Taec's water bottle and pouring half of it into his mouth.

Taec looks confused, waiting for Jay to return his bottle before finishing it off and squinting at him. "What?

"Dude, for real, you suck at this." He gestures to the basketball hoop behind them and bends over, hands on his knees, trying to regulate his breathing. Although it was an easy win it's been a while since he's had an opponent, and showing off always tires him out quicker.

"Which would be why I'm practicing," Taec points out, but Jay doesn't answer, still just breathing. It was probably a bad idea exercising so much when he has b-boy practice, too, but—

"Oh shit," he says suddenly, jerking up. 

_B-boy practice._

+

"Jay, what the hell, man?" Dial Tone calls out. 

Jay hurries through the door, dropping his backpack and joining his crew on the floor, more late than ever since he almost forgot about Peatry and had to take him home, too. "Sorry guys," he says, immediately going into a set of stretches. "I had a thing."

"A _thing_?" Junior sounds skeptical as he spots Cha Cha's handstand on the other side of the mat. "You for real?"

"Yeah, man, where've you been? We've been waiting. _Waiting_ and _pining_." Dial Tone moves over to help Jay out, pulling on his foot, and Jay hesitates before saying anything more.

Normally he would just tell them, because fuck, they know too much about each other already, but he just _knows_ that as soon as he even mentions Taec they're gonna start ragging on him. 

At least, that's what he would do.

"I dunno, it was just a thing," he says evasively, and it's a bad move because he sees Dial Tone and Junior exchange _looks_ , Junior letting Cha Cha's feet go and moving closer. "Stop fucking looking at each other, okay? It's nothing, it's just this dude," Jay adds, but realises his first instinct was right when Dial Tone immediately starts cooing, making a love heart with his arm and Junior's. Even Cha Cha is fluttering his eyelashes obnoxiously, and Jay knows that there isn't even a point trying to explain about Jihyen, because with the mood they're in, it's not worth it. Fuck it, it's their loss. They can find out about Jihyen when he brings her to practice and she cheers for him and they fucking drool with jealousy. "We just played some ball, no biggie," he continues nonchalantly, and Dial Tone's eyes widen, his lips forming an impressive pout.

"I thought," he sniffles, "I thought _we_ were your ballers," he says, voice wavering, and Junior snorts loudly.

"You guys are too fucking homo to be my ballers." He throws the closest water bottle at them, and they duck in just enough time.

"You were late because you were meeting some random guy. Who is more homo in this scenario?" Cha Cha points out, and Jay, having no more projectiles nearby, just flips him the bird.

"Seriously, though," Junior pushes, "you were late because of a 'thing', with a 'dude'. That sounds kinda shady."

Dial Tone nods. "Real shady."

"Slim Shady," Junior adds, and they burst into laughter and do their weird handshake-and-chest bump thing.

Jay glares at them. He really should catch on when the Orduna brothers are playing with him, but it's sometimes hard to tell when they double-team him like this.

"Fuck you," Jay says eloquently, kicking out at Dial Tone and turning away before he does anything worse to them, only to see Cha Cha slowly drawing his tongue over his bottom lip in the most disgusting way Jay has ever seen. Jay stares until he eventually stops.

"What?" Cha Cha says, frowning and wiping his mouth with his popped collar. "Too much?"

+

When Jay opens his front door to the insistent ringing of the bell a few days later, he's expecting it to be Mr Weston complaining about Peatry digging up his flowers again and is therefore more than slightly surprised to see Taec instead.

"The fuck," Jay says, blinking. "How do you even know where I live?"

Taec grins. "I got connections."

"Khun doesn't count," Jay tells him, but he just shrugs. "So," Jay adds, angling his body to take up as much room as possible as Taec tries to look inside his house, "wassup?"

"Not much."

"Okay," Jay says, and waits for Taec to continue. And waits some more. When it becomes obvious he isn't going to, Jay shrugs and moves to shut the door. He has things to do today, like play the new _Assassin's Creed_. Or re-style his hair. Or organize his shoes. Or watch b-boy videos on YouTube. Whatever the future holds for him, it does not involve being bugged by someone who's so terrible at basketball.

"Wait!" Taec sticks his gigantic foot over the threshold and Jay opens the door again, trying to keep his annoyance in check.

"Yes?"

"Jihyen's home today. All day. And it's hot. So she'll be wearing girl clothes."

Jay grins, both tempted by the thought and amused by Taec's awkwardness. "Instead of what, boy clothes? Your clothes? Your dad's clothes?"

"Dude come on, she's my sister. I'm all for you two finding true love and all but there's some things I don't really wanna think about. The point is, she'll be there." He turns away and starts down Jay's front steps.

"And you came all the way here to tell me that," Jay calls dubiously. Sure, he doesn't know Taec that well yet, but he's pretty sure showing up in person like this is weird, especially since cell phones were invented like ten years ago.

"Why not?" he says over his shoulder. "I can give you a lift in my sweet ride." He twirls his keys around his fingers and poses proudly next to an old beat-up Ford sedan.

"That's not a sweet ride," Jay says, finally leaving the sanctuary of his doorway. He moves closer, noticing the obvious rust on the underside, the lack of handle on the back door and crappy tread on the tyres. "It's _a_ ride, but I wouldn't call it a sweet one."

"Hey," Taec says, pouting, "you wanna come or not?"

Jay takes a moment to look from Taec's car and back to his house, where his brother Jehan has appeared in the window and is sucking kissy-faces into the glass, like twenty years separate them and not two. He moves around to the passenger side.

"I'm picking the radio station," he says, and Taec lets him.

+

The trip to Taec's house is short, uneventful and mercifully quiet except for Taec's soft humming along with the radio. When they arrive it is to find two people sitting outside, perched against the fence. One of them is on his phone, the other just staring into space, and as Taec pulls up Jay sees that phone guy is Khun. Jay is immediately suspicious, shooting Taec a questioning look, but Taec ignores him.

"Oh look! Khun is here," he says instead, sounding completely rehearsed and insincere, getting out of the car before Jay can question him further. Jay clambers out and fist-bumps Khun and is just about to ask Taec what the hell is going on when Taec says, "And oh! Chansung is also here!" He performs a big hand gesture and points at the other guy, whose eyes widen.

"Why are you talking like that?" he asks.

"Never you mind, Chansungie," Taec says, still speaking in that ridiculous voice, smacking Chansung hard on the ass, but Khun steps forward and pulls Chansung away.

"That's his lying voice," Khun informs them, narrowing his eyes. "He used it on our TA last week."

Taec looks vaguely panicked. "What? Khunnie, come on—"

"What are you planning, Taecyeon?" Khun interrupts, hands on hips, and Jay would be laughing at how much he sounds like a mom if he didn't want to know the very same thing.

Taec busies himself with picking at his own fingernails. "Welllll," he says, "it's possible that I accidentally broke a window the other day, and since I am merely poor student with no employment, I have to pay my parents back somehow."

"How? By lying to your closest friends?" Khun asks, pouting.

"Nope. All we have to do is clean up the garage, and hey presto, my mom loves me again!" He finally looks up and grins widely. Jay, not for the first time and probably nowhere near the last, wants to punch him in the mouth.

He sighs instead, because now that it's obvious that Taec manipulated them all the odds that he might actually see his Soulmate today are very low. "Jihyen's not here, is she?"

"I think I saw her leave a few minutes before you got here," Chansung supplies helpfully.

"Which means she'll be back!" Taec slaps Jay heartily on the back, sounding way too cheerful for a huge hulking lying liar, before turning and opening the garage door with a flourish. "Ta da!"

As soon as the door's all the way up and enough light filters in to illuminate the space, Chansung lets out a disbelieving laugh, Khun physically recoils, and Jay just stares.

There is not one inch of spare space. The entire floor is covered in boxes stacked to the ceiling, some of them ripped and half-eaten by mice and all of them covered in cobwebs. There's a few pieces of furniture in the corner, but they're gross too and are covered in god-knows-what and it _stinks_.

It's one of the most disgusting things Jay's ever witnessed—overshadowed only by the time when Peatry rolled in something nasty at the park and he had to clean it up, and the time he accidentally walked in on his parents fucking in the kitchen pantry—and if they all don't get a fatal disease and cause a widespread epidemic, he'll be super surprised.

+

They go slowly at first, not even knowing where to start, but soon enough they all find a role that works for them and end up working well together. Taec should really be in charge since it's his house, but he has no idea how to clean anything and just lets Jay take charge. They all do, actually, but they seem to need someone to keep them on track so Jay doesn't really mind doing it. He puts Taec in charge of lifting because he's strong, Khun in charge of sorting because he's patient, and Chansung in charge of fetching because he seems eager to please, and it all runs pretty smoothly.

"Hey," Chansung says after a several long hours, hanging off Taec's arm and pulling on his massive ears, "I'm hungry."

"You're always hungry," Khun says, sounding tired as he eyes one of the half-disintegrated boxes he's left till last.

"You know what guys, it's cool, I think I got it from here," Taec says, throwing an arm around Chansung and pulling him closer. "Thanks for your help."

"Yeah, well, we didn't have much of a choice," Khun says, so passive-aggressive that Jay can't help rolling his eyes.

"Yes you did," Taec says firmly. "And I'm sorry I lied to you. If it helps, my mom really is sick, I really will buy you lunch, and Jihyen really is wearing a short skirt." Taec looks at each of them in turn, finishing with Jay who immediately feels uneasy under Taec's intense gaze.

He's never been good with this sentimental shit and he turns away to hide his discomfort. "Yeah, well you're buying our food. All of it," he insists, remembering that he has no money because he spent it all on a new pair of kicks. "And I'm not eating anything unless it's a burger."

+

After an argument with Taec leads to a violent game of rock-paper-scissors, Jay and Chansung end up being the ones to trudge to the end of Taec's street to get the burgers, even though Taec is the one with the car.

"He's such a dick," Jay rages, kicking a stone along the pavement. It deflects off a fence and flies directly into Chansung's shin, and Jay cringes. "Shit, sorry!"

Chansung frowns and bends down to rub his leg. "Thanks," he says sadly, and Jay feels even worse.

"I said sorry! Okay, just… order whatever you want, alright? Most expensive burger there is, it's yours," he says desperately.

"Really?"

Jay nods. "It's on Taec."

Chansung brightens and pushes at Jay's shoulder playfully as he straightens up. Jay goes flying forwards, because fuck is this kid strong, but he makes it look like it's what he meant to happen and jams his hands into his pockets, sauntering on. Chansung easily catches up with him and they walk a little in silence but Jay's curiosity gets the better of him.

"How do you know Taec, anyway?" he asks.

Chansung plucks a leaf from an overhanging tree and begins to tear it into strips. "We rap together sometimes."

Jay's entire body jerks to a stop, and he sputters. "Taec raps? _Taec_?" As in _Taec_ , his dorky Taec, Taec who has no sense of rhythm Taec?

"He's good," Chansung says, looking back and grinning. "Girls love his voice."

Jay takes another moment to process this, before making a serious mental note to make Taec rap for him one day, because he is sure it will be one of the most hilarious things he's ever seen. It's amusing him enough just thinking about it, so much so that he completely tunes out of the conversation imagining it, only getting jolted back in when Chansung claps his hand down on his shoulder.

"Jay?" Chansung is saying, looking at him expectantly.

"Uh, what?"

"What about you? How do you know Taec?"

Jay pauses. He's never really thought about what to say if someone questions their friendship, but it's pretty obvious that if he says _oh I'm just putting up with him while I make the moves on his sister_ he'll come off as a gigantic asshole.

But how do you say that in a nice way?

"His sister's hot," he says finally, beginning to walk again, letting Chansung take that however he wants.

Chansung frowns. "Really? I never noticed."

"Probably because she's never worn a meat dress," Jay shoots back, and Chansung laughs and shoves him again. Jay goes flying once more but he stumbles to a stop directly in front of the burger place so he doesn't bother to complain.

+

They're sprawled across Taec's lounge room furniture, stuffed full and exhausted and watching a _Simpsons_ rerun when Jihyen comes home. Taec is dozing sitting up on the couch, Chansung is spacing out next to him, chewing lethargically on a banana, and Khun is spread across their thighs, head in Taec's lap and feet dangling over Chansung's armrest. Jay chose to separate himself from their threesome right from the beginning, sitting closest to the door in an armchair on Taec's other side, and he's trying to keep himself alert for when Jihyen gets back—which, of course, is the only reason he accepted Taec's offer in the first place—but he keeps drifting off, and when she does finally step into the room, laden with shopping bags, he misses it completely.

They all do actually, and it takes her loudly clearing her throat to get their attention. Taec doesn’t even open his eyes as he lets out a grunt, and the others look at her very briefly before turning back to the TV, but Jay panics and hurries to sit up, running a hand through his sweaty hair and turning on his best woo-the-ladies smile in the hope that it'll distract her from his sweaty grossness.

Jihyen blinks. "Hey Khun, hey Chan," she says. They wave tiredly. "Hey… other guy."

"Ugh," Taec says, after Khun pokes him insistently in the side, and he gestures vaguely in Jay's direction, "this is Jay. You've met."

"All true," Jay says, totally charming, rubbing his palms on the arms of the chair to dry them. It sucks that she doesn't remember him but he'd made a pretty good first impression and that's gotta count for something.

She tilts her head and looks at him. He tries not to be dazzled by her shiny earrings. Or her low neckline. "Oh," she says finally, eyes lighting up with recognition, "from the club, right?"

Jay nods. "Chyeah, you know, that's right." There's a few moments of silence and, feeling nervous, like he's being judged by the others, he suddenly jumps up and sticks out his hand for her to shake.

Which is the wrong move, since her hands are full of bags. She raises an eyebrow.

"Sorry," he says, shaking his head, "I mean, can I help with those?"

"I'm fine. You guys just go back to watching," she cranes her head to see the TV, and wrinkles her nose as Bart moons Mr Burns, "your stupid cartoons."

Taec wakes up fully at that, glaring after her as she leaves. "Hey, this is the most relevant and accessible social commentary produced since _The Three Stooges_ ," he calls, and her laughter trails down the hallway behind her until it's muffled by her bedroom door shutting and then the only sounds are Chansung and Homer's loud chewing.

Jay is still awkwardly standing in the middle of the room, not quite sure what just happened, and Taec looks at him and shrugs. 

"What can I do, man? She's a free spirit."

Jay is suddenly hit by the realization that this may not be as easy as he'd thought.

+

Jay stays long after everyone else leaves, loitering around Taec's house in the hope that Jihyen will emerge from her room. She doesn't.

Still, though, Taec's company is preferable to his brother's, so he sticks around, even when Taec leaves for a little while to run an errand.

Taec very bravely leaves Jay in his room, probably because it's where he thinks he'll cause the least trouble, and Jay starts off trying to entertain himself by playing on his Wii. He gets bored within half an hour though, the joy found in screwing up all Taec's statistics only lasting so long, and gives up in favour of exploring Taec's room. 

It's surprisingly tidy for someone like Taec, particularly after having seen his garage. There's no mess anywhere, although Jay can see the marks on the floor that indicate he's only vacuumed around furniture and not under it. He supposes it's a wonder that Taec even vacuumed at all.

And then Jay slides open one of the closet doors and finds where everything is. Obviously Taec's idea of cleaning is shoving everything out of sight—which is, upon second thought, pretty consistent with what Jay has learned about the Oks so far. Eyebrows raised, Jay skims over boxes messily marked 'Star Wars figures' and 'DBZ videos' and a horrific pile of unnecessarily bright laundry on the lowest level, only to have his attention caught by a folder labeled 'Yearbooks'.

Jay grins.

He eagerly yanks the folder out, ignoring the stack of papers that flies to floor in its wake, and takes it over to Taec's bed, sprawling on it and opening the folder from the back. It's Taec's yearbook from senior year, and Jay's grin widens. Oh, this should be _good_.

He flicks through the pages, searching for Taec's face or even his name, and he almost misses it, but then he sees one very familiar protruding ear, and—

Jay stares in horror. Right at the front of the photo, the one completely occupied by nerds, the one with the heading 'Chess Club', is teenaged Taec wearing big glasses and clothes that look even stupider than the ones he wears now.

He immediately bursts into laughter. He laughs for ages, for so long his eyes start to water, and every time he thinks he's done, he looks at the photo and starts up again. It only gets worse when he turns the page to find him in the Jazz Club, too, not even looking at the camera for some reason, his hair even more terrible than it was in the Chess picture. 

The last picture he finds is the least incriminating, of Taec on the soccer team, and Jay is just laughing at their terrible uniform and how Taec looks like a criminal when—

"He can't actually play, you know," he hears suddenly, from very close, too close, and it surprises him so much he nearly falls off the bed.

"Shit!" he curses, as he kicks himself in the leg.

"Sorry, I thought you heard me come in," Jihyen says mildly, perching next to him, crossing her legs. The skirt she's wearing inches up her thighs and Jay clears his throat.

"No, it's cool, you know, I'm good. I mean. Yeah." He sits upright and swings his legs over the edge, sitting next to her, not so close as to scare her away but close enough that he can feel her body heat.

"He's so different now," she muses, leaning closer to Jay, running her finger over the picture of Taec. "It was so easy to just dismiss him before, but now…" She pulls back abruptly and Jay immediately feels bereft. "He's grown up so much in the past few years, it's hard to keep up. He makes me feel old."

Jay snorts. "You definitely don't look it."

She raises an eyebrow and he shrugs, unapologetic and making her laugh. "Thanks. It's just, I don't know. I mean… Does he have a girlfriend?" she asks abruptly, and Jay blinks.

"I dunno, I haven't really known him long enough," he admits. Taec's never talked about a girl before, but they're not really that close so it's not all that surprising. "I don't think so?"

"Huh," she says, leaning back on her palms, and Jay works not to be too distracted by her shirt as it rides up. "He hasn't had one in a while."

"He hasn't had a chick?" Jay asks, surprised, because he'd have thought that girls would love someone as tall as Taec.

"I don't know why. He's smart and he's funny—"

"He's cheesy and lame, he has really whack fashion sense, he's terrible at sports…" Jay continues, and she laughs again.

"Okay, okay, those too." They're silent for a moment. Jay's kinda thrown off his game since they just spent so long talking about Taec, but he's just about to pitch another topic when she stands up, smoothing down her skirt. "I should go. Nice to see you again, Jay." She smiles at him and he tries to remember how to smile back, watching her as she leaves.

She's perfect. She's so fucking hot and god, Jay really can't believe they spent the entire time talking about _Taec_. He _is_ what they have in common, so it's probably not really that weird, but still.

At least he has more of an in now, which is good. And not only that, but she called him by his name, and smiled, _and_ flirted, so really there's a lot more good than bad.

"Fucking _yes_ ," he breathes, deciding to leave on a good note and tossing Taec's yearbook back into the folder before shoving it back into the closet. Crossing to Taec's desk, he grabs a pen and a random piece of paper and leaves Taec a message.

_Bball,_ he scribbles. _Tuesday mournin. Mybe I can teech u sumthing. Payce._

_PS. u ever mention chess round me and Ill cut u_

+

"You have a tattoo," Taec says as Jay reaches for the bottle of water. The sun had come out halfway through their game and Jay had shed his t-shirt, never one to miss an opportunity to show off his abs. Taec, obviously not confident enough in his body to do the same, had simply rolled the legs of his pants up to reveal some way hairy legs—which Jay had, of course, given him shit for.

It must be the first time Taec's ever seen him shirtless because he's had this tattoo for a while now, since he graduated and was freed from the rules and regulations of his shitty high school. His uncle doesn't care, either, as long as Jay turns up to work on time and changes the tyres he's supposed to, so he's even considering getting another one.

"What does it say?" Taec asks, leaning in so close Jay can feel his breath against his collarbone. It feels weird but Taec doesn't give him an opportunity to complain, just tilts Jay's whole body out of the shadow created by the backboard in the midday sun, and mouths the words as he reads. "What are those numbers?"

"They're predictions of the future," Jay says, struggling to keep a straight face, swigging the remainder of the water. "In those years in the future, some crazy shit is gonna go down." Taec looks up at him, thoroughly confused, and Jay laughs and shoves at him, collapsing back onto the ground. "You fuckhead, they're the years my family was born."

"Aww," Taec teases, lowering himself down next to Jay, "that's so sweet. A mom-approved tattoo."

"I got one, don’t I?"

"Hey, I could get one if I wanted."

Jay snorts. He can practically _feel_ Taec pouting. And lying.

"I could! If I really wanted to, I could. But I don't, so that voids this entire conversation, and I refuse to think I am any less of a man because of it." He pauses. "But the point is, I _could_."

"Yeah, okay Angelina Jolie, I get it," Jay laughs, elbowing him hard in the ribs. Taec retaliates and they descend into silence.

Time's slowly getting on and he should really get home soon, because he promised Jehan he'd bring pizza for lunch, and the moron's already called five times to remind him. The tarmac isn't all that comfortable, either, and a decent-sized stone is digging right into his lower back, but he ignores it, lulled by Taec's steady breathing beside him.

"If I was gonna get a tattoo," Taec says quietly a few minutes later, right when Jay is beginning to feel super-sleepy, "I'd get a cat."

"A cat," Jay says flatly. He can't be fucking serious. " _Where_?"

"My ass."

Jay punches him on the arm.

+

Jay has no idea how, but Taec somehow manages to time his calls so that they are as inconvenient for Jay as possible. The first time, Jay is in the bathroom. The second time, the shower. The third time, an undisclosed location participating in undisclosed acts, and so on.

When he calls this time Jay is in the middle of a routine with Cha Cha, and Junior, who's supposed to be videotaping them, answers for him. Jay keeps an eye on him through the mirror and immediately doesn't like the way Junior's grin broadens, or the way he looks so slyly at Jay. Thankfully the song finishes quickly and Jay hurries over and grabs for his phone, but Junior is a little shit and tries to keep it away from him, leaving Jay with no choice but to use force.

"Is that guy okay?" Taec asks as soon as Jay wrestles the phone from Junior and grunts a greeting.

"He's just a little retarded," Jay pants. "It's not his fault, he was dropped on his head as a kid. A lot." Junior flips him the bird and takes his place on the floor.

"So anyway, I spoke to Jihyen," Taec says animatedly, but Jay knows him well enough by now to realise that could mean anything. He signals to Cha Cha that he's leaving, ignoring Junior's catcalls and shoving him over as he passes.

"Break it down," he says, stepping outside and leaning against the wall. It's uncharacteristically warm, the balmy breeze doing nothing to soothe his sweat-soaked skin, and he realises way too late that he should have grabbed his water bottle before coming out.

"Not much to break down, man, she just told me to text you her phone number and you guys can go from there."

"Really?" Jay frowns. Someone of Jihyen's calibre, he would have expected it to be harder. "That's all she said?"

"Yes."

"Taec, if you're fucking with me—"

"I'm not, that's what she said! Don't tell me you're doubting your Jayness…"

"I'm not doubting, there's nothing to doubt," he snaps. But still. This almost feels like she gave in too easily. Girls like her supposed to play hard to get. What if this is a trap?

He's about to say as much but someone yells something on the other end, asking Taec a question, and Taec fades out as he answers them.

"Who is that?" Jay asks, suddenly distracted, straining to hear, and Taec laughs distantly before his voice gets closer.

"Chansung and I are playing _Starcraft_. He just—Junho, what the hell, we're supposed to be working together!" More voices, more laughter.

"Okay," Jay says dully and briefly wonders why Taec didn't invite him. His technofail is pretty widely known, and Taec probably just thought he wouldn't be interested but it would've been nice to be asked. "Guess I'll see you nerds later, then."

"Oh, Jay, wait," Taec calls loudly, just as Jay's about to hang up, "she likes flowers."

Jay's mind goes blank for a moment before he remembers who Taec's referring to. "What kind?"

"What?" Taec says, sounding distracted, and Jay tamps down on his frustration.

"Flowers, what kind? There's more than one."

Taec laughs. "I dunno, man, go with your gut. Annyeong!" He hangs up.

When Jay goes back inside, Junior is still snickering. This time Jay trips him right in the middle of his baby mill.

+

Jihyen is an attractive mix of cute and sexy in their texts, flirty without being slutty, and Jay is ecstatic. After a few days of round-robin messaging, when he's almost positive she won't decline, he finally forces himself to ask her out—and she says yes.

_why r u so surprised man_ , Taec asks when Jay sends him a carefully excited text, _ur fly!! ^^_

Jay grins and immediately texts Jihyen again, suggesting a movie. She agrees and he balks a little when she tells him her choice of film, but then he remembers—they'll be in the dark, close enough to touch. He probably won't be able to concentrate much on the movie, anyway.

+

"No," Jay says, backing away as soon as he sees Taec coming towards him, "fuck off. _No._ "

"Sorry, man." Taec moves closer and reaches out, patting Jay's upper arm apologetically. "She couldn't make it, had a last-minute emergency. She says to tell you sorry."

"Yeah, that makes it less fucked up, thanks," he says grumpily. He stalks over to the already-overflowing trash can in front of the theatre entrance and dumps the chrysanthemumumums or whatever the shit on top. "Why're you here, anyway? Why didn't she just call instead of sending her fucking gofer?" Taec frowns at the insult, and Jay knows he's just lashing out and being an immature dick, but he's honestly too upset to care. Who sends their fucking _brother_ to ditch their date?

Taec pauses. "It'd be rude to just leave you here," he says, and then nudges Jay in the arm, suddenly looking hopeful. "Plus, we're friends, right? Why don't we do something, instead? I have a ten-page essay due tomorrow that I haven't started, but other than that I'm completely free." He moves over to pluck the topmost chrys-thingy out, tucks it behind his satellite dish-ear, and turns to Jay, framing his face with his palms. "Do what you will with me."

He looks so fucking _stupid_ that Jay can't help his sudden laugh, and he almost hates that Taec won't let him sulk, but then Taec grins back and Jay thinks—fuck it. Taec is never bad company, and even if he's not Jay's first choice, it was cool of him to not ditch Jay in public.

He pretends to stay annoyed though, glaring at Taec and yanking the flower off him, sticking it behind his own ear and grabbing Taec's wrist to drag him inside. "Just so you know," he says warningly, over his shoulder, "she picked the movie."

Taec's anguished expression is priceless.

+

The next _Twilight_ movie is, it turns out, even shittier than the last one—not that Jay watched it. They stay as long as they can but still end up fleeing three-quarters of the way through, escaping before it gets any worse. Taec mentions getting something to eat and Jay agrees to stay with him, not quite willing to go home yet, still recuperating from the trauma of over an hour of whining girls and sparkling vampires.

They make their way steadily through the shopping complex until finally their ambling seems to lead them somewhere useful and they stop at some sushi place to join the giant queue. They're quiet for a few moments and even though they both vowed never to admit to even seeing the trailer for it, Jay figures it's safe enough to bring up now, as long as they don't mention any names.

"I just can't believe Khun _liked_ that shit," he says, disgusted.

"I don't get why he doesn't just fuck her," Taec says loudly, and the Asian dude in front of them turns to give him an amused look, his glasses glinting and his large mouth twisting rather scarily. Taec just grins until he turns back. "I mean, I guess I do get it," he adds, "because if he'd just had sex with her in the first place then there wouldn't have been any need for the other installments, but seriously, no dude is that strong."

"I dunno, man," Jay says slowly, because even though it makes him want to blow his brains out that they're talking about this, his mom brought him up well and he can kinda see where the movie's coming from. "Wasn't he supposed to be all gentlemanly and shit? Born, like, last century?"

"Jay, we were born last century," Taec says, laughing.

Jay glares, shoving at Taec as they move up in the line. "You know what I mean."

"I do. I just think—if you want someone, go get them." He turns to Jay, looking way too serious to still be discussing Edwin Coven or whoever the shit, and Jay suddenly feels extremely uncomfortable. "Although I guess there is that added layer of complexity in that he's a vampire." He grins suddenly. "Like love needs to be any more complicated."

Jay just stares at him, privately wondering if Taec is more than a little cray-cray, because he could've sworn they were just talking about a stupid chick-flick. "Dude," he says, "stop fucking squealing about that stupid fucking film and order your fucking food."

"Oh, right." Taec fumbles for his wallet in his back pocket. "Want anything?"

Jay shakes his head, patting his stomach. "After eight pm, man. Maybe if _you_ said no to food once in a while you'd start looking like a man instead of a geek."

Taec rolls his eyes, picking and paying in under a minute and then steering Jay towards a table an old couple is just vacating. The man helps the little old lady with her walking stick and Taec watches, his eyes practically shaped like fucking hearts as they hold hands and shuffle away.

"Oh man, you are seriously pathetic," Jay says, rolling his eyes.

Taec looks hurt as they sit, already shoving half of his California roll into his mouth. "What about you? The only reason you're hanging out with me is because you want my sister."

Jay punches him in the arm, about to retaliate verbally, but instead finds himself asking, "Why are you helping me, then, if I'm such a loser?"

"Birds of a feather?" he suggests, grinning again before inhaling the other half of his food. He sobers suddenly and leans back in his seat, playing with his unused serviette. "Jihyen liked you."

Jay blinks for a moment, absorbing this information, his thoughts rapidly careening from _seriously?_ to _fuck yes!_ and then _wait, liked?_ before he says slowly, "Liked as in past tense?"

"I don't know," Taec says earnestly, finally looking up. "I just know what she told me the day after the club. She thought you were hot."

Jay feels the grin spreading across his face and embraces it, crossing his arms, preening a little. "I am so fucking _in_!"

"Except," Taec says, and he seems a strange mixture of both uneasy and amused, "she also thought you were gay."

Jay stares, feeling every ounce of joy disappears in an instant. Because. What. What the fuck.

What. The _fuck_.

He's quiet for a while, and it's obviously long enough for Taec to become concerned because he leans forward to say something but Jay grabs his collar instead, wrenching him closer, not caring at all if he hurts Taec in the process.

"What the _fuck_ ," he hisses, and Taec cringes as some of his spit lands on his cheek. "Fucking _gay_? Are you fucking kidding me? I'm like the least fucking… I'm the most opposite from gay on this entire _planet_!"

"Believe me, Jay, I know," Taec says, gently removing Jay's fingers from his shirt. "I told her that, I made sure she knows, and that's why she agreed to go out with you."

"Yeah, because that turned out so fucking well," he mutters, slumping over the table, pressing his cheek to the smooth marble surface. Just… him? Gay? Fucking fuckity fuck.

"Hey," he hears Taec say, but he doesn't answer and just closes his eyes, feeling weirdly embarrassed and awkward.

Does this mean he acts gay? If someone saw him on the street, would they think he was gay? Would the casual observer think he and Taec were on a date right now?

" _Hey_ ," Taec says again, and this time his tone of voice means Jay does look up. "I know you're disappointed and everything, but don't worry, okay? I'll organize something awesome for this weekend, and it'll all be great, you'll see." He grins widely, trying to encourage Jay to do the same.

Jay collapses back onto the table.

+

It takes Jay at least an hour to get over his depression, but he is grateful for Taec, who pulls out all the stops to entertain him. He makes bad jokes, does stupid impressions and plays DDR, dancing outrageously to Lady Gaga with a thirteen-year-old girl who triples his score. By the end of the night Jay feels much more optimistic.

Taec even drives him home, playing too-loud gangsta music that they jam to the entire time, Taec's crappy car shaking from both their jostling and the strain on the speakers. Jay turns down the music as soon as they reach his street, unwilling to bear the inevitable complaints from his neighbours.

Taec parks and they're quiet for a moment, Taec letting Jay take his time, and Jay, yet again, is thankful. In retrospect, he figures that a chick thinking he's gay isn't really that big a deal, but he's still really into her so it's a bit of a downer to realize he isn't as far along in the wooing process as he'd thought.

"Hey," Taec says finally, elbowing him gently, "it's all good, right? Just keep Saturday free."

Jay nods and they bump fists before Jay climbs out, Taec starts the car again and his music comes back on, one song ending and another starting. As a special reward for all the things Taec has done for him so far, Jay pretends not to recognise the beginning strains of Justin Bieber.

+

Jay is barely dressed when there's a knock at the door a few days later and he opens it in only his basketball short. He's once again surprised to find Taec, his suit on the complete other end of the style spectrum and making Jay completely forget what number sit-up he was up to.

Taec gives him a once-over and raises his eyebrows. "Well. You'd certainly be making a statement, but do you really want every woman in the vicinity to jump you before you even get in the car?"

Jay frowns. Taec is either drunk or high, but whatever the substance abuse Jay is unsure if he's comfortable with Taec getting himself home. "What the fuck," he says, careful not to let any of his worry seep into his tone, "are you talking about?"

"It's Saturday."

"And I'm Jay. Seriously man, for real. Come on." He leans in closer, cupping his hand over his mouth, whispering, "Are you high?"

Taec stares at him for a few moments before his posture relaxes and he sighs. "You forgot, didn't you?"

"Taec, if you don't start speaking straight I won't hesitate to punch you in the face," Jay says. He hates when people act like this, because it's like they're laughing at him and then he just feels slow and stupid, like he can't hope to match up. Like he's not good enough, even when he _knows_ that he is, and that they're just being a douche.

"Our date," is all Taec says, and Jay wonders if he should wind up before punching because if Taec's thinking they're gonna be doing _anything_ tonight then he seriously needs—

But then Taec shifts aside and Jay spots two girls waiting in his car in the driveway and one of them is Jihyen.

Oh shit, Jay thinks, and his expression must say the same thing because Taec rolls his eyes and pushes him backwards, prodding him down the hall and into his room.

"Just get dressed, and I'll go out and tell them I told you the wrong time, okay? I'll save your ass. _Again_." He drapes an arm around Jay's neck, the stiff fabric of his suit jacket rough against Jay's sweaty skin, and opens up the closet. He reaches in, but Jay finally comes to his senses and bats his hands away.

"Like I'd trust your fashion sense," he snaps, shoving Taec off him, who pulls away and pouts, looking down at himself.

"Hey, I look okay now, right?"

Jay's already noticed, maybe a little jealously, the way the suit fits him, enhancing the broadness of his shoulders, the lean lines of his pants making his legs look even longer. With his hair styled decently for once, and a crisp white shirt underneath the jacket, he looks a lot older and better looking than he actually is.

Jay is positive that he can't have done it by himself.

"How much of that was you and how much was Jihyen?" he asks, and Taec looks sheepish. "Exactly. Now fuck off while I get changed." Taec shakes his head, making to leave, but then Jay feels bad and adds, "Thanks, man. And sorry."

"If you didn't forget dates then you wouldn't be Jay," he says, looking fond before suddenly grinning, darting in to pinch Jay's nipple, and then hollering, "Don't forget a bra!" as he dashes away.

Jay yelps—it's a delayed reaction but it still _hurts_ —and rubs his chest as he glares after him.

+

In the car Taec asks everyone if they're hungry and even though Jay's only had one saucepan of Cheerios all day, the girls say no so he'll just have to tough it out.

They end up back at the club where the three of them first met, and Jay is privately struck by the thought that Taec is a genius. Jay made a great impression here and if he can just get some of that cred back, if he can connect with Jihyen like he did last time, then he is quite certain that he'll have it in the bag.

An hour later, though, everything is not going to plan and Jay is alone in the men's bathroom wondering what went wrong.

Jihyen has been distant all night—quiet in the car, distracted in line for club, and downright ignoring him in the club itself in favour of her phone. He'd paid to put her stuff in the cloakroom, bought her drinks, danced with her—even making sure he wasn't too good so she didn't feel bad—but nothing worked and Jay has begun to get the distinct feeling that she's not interested. It sucks ass, especially since he's so fucking hungry, and he has no idea where to go from here.

Taec's date with Jihyen's friend Sun doesn't seem to be going that great either. Sun seems to be drinking a hell of a lot for someone of her size, but then maybe they're having fun and he just can't see it because his own night has been so average.

Jay shakes his head, turns off the tap and leans on the sink to stare at his reflection when Taec suddenly appears in the mirror next to him. His smile is lopsided but it's the only thing that is, and Jay suddenly remembers some fact his mom was telling him from her ladies' magazine the other day, something about people being most attracted to symmetrical faces. 

At the time he'd pretended it was all shit, but after a few days he'd blackmailed Jehan into teaching him how to mirror an image in Photoshop and discovered that his own features were slightly wonky. He's pissed to notice that Taec's features, although gigantic, are pretty perfect.

"You okay?" Taec asks, moving closer. He looks concerned and Jay nods.

"What else would I be?" he says, trying to sound nonchalant.

"Sorry," Taec says, and Jay frowns, holding his gaze through the mirror.

"What?"

"About my sister. She's being weird."

"Why are you apologizing? It's not your problem."

"I know."

Taec looks down and Jay finally steps back from the sinks, scraping his hands down the front of his shirt to dry them since the hand dryer is out of order.

"Where's your date, anyway, man?" he says, taking the opportunity to elbow Taec in the ribs. "Not gonna lie, she's pretty hot." He pushes the door open and they head back into the club proper. The music hits him all at once, reverberating through his bones and pounding in his brain, and with his stomach growling almost in time to the beat he directs Taec over to the bar so he can buy a drink.

"She's hot," Taec agrees, yelling in his ear, breath skimming over Jay's skin, "but I'm pretty sure she's busy making out with that guy over there." He points over Jay's shoulder before using his ridiculous height to get the bartender's attention and ordering Jay's lemonade. Jay follows the line of Taec's finger and wrinkles his nose when he sees Sun grinding drunkenly against some tiny white guy.

"Damn, how is she that crunk already?"

"I dunno, but she already told me earlier she likes short guys. And that she would've gone for you if you weren't already with my sister." Taec pays the bartender and hands Jay his drink, nudging him sideways a bit, out of the crowd around the bar.

"Oh." Jay frowns, downing most of it one go. He should probably be feeling pretty good right about now, because how the fuck often does this happen, but he doesn't really know what to feel and settles for clapping Taec on the back. He keeps his palm there a little longer than usual to show his support and passes Taec what's left of his lemonade. "Fuck it," he says, gesturing around them at the crowd of people, "there are other girls, right?"

Taec looks down at him, something weird in his eyes that Jay figures must be embarrassment ar having his pride wounded so publically, and nods. "Right."

They turn back in time to see the train wreck that is Sun stumble over to another unsuspecting guy and launch herself onto him. He dodges and she nearly falls, only to be caught at the last moment by Jihyen, who staggers under her weight.

"I'm thinking we should go and help," Taec says, cringing and draining the last dregs of Jay's drink, the ice cubes slipping down to clink against his teeth. "Before they kill someone."

+

It takes all three of them—well, mainly Taec's piggyback, but Jay and Jihyen help to get her on and off—to get Sun to Taec's car, and then again from Taec's car into her house. They manage to get an almost perfect run all the way to her bedroom doorway, but her room is almost messier than the Ok's garage and Taec has to manoeuvre around a million obstacles before he can finally dump her on her bed.

"I should stay with her tonight," Jihyen says, gently laying Sun's head on her pillow. Jay repositions her feet and unhooks her arm from Taec's shoulder.

"Okay, I'll take Jay home," Taec says. He straightens up and Jihyen slides gracefully off the bed and they all stand around awkwardly until Taec claps suddenly and says, "Okay, well, see you later, Sis. I'll wait outside." He gives her a hug and then offers Jay a quick smile before he makes his way out.

Jay stares uncomfortably at the wall. Jihyen sighs.

"I'm sorry," she says. "I mean, I think I kind of ruined our date. First I wasn't… and then Sun… I never should have invited her."

"You know, it's cool, I can handle it," Jay says. Not that he would tell her if he couldn't. "Don't think Taec had much fun, though."

"I know, I didn't realise… I thought she liked him. I owe him."

"We both do," Jay agrees. He looks at her and she looks back, smiling slightly, and Jay is completely surprised to find that he feels… nothing. Well, not nothing, just not anything approaching the passion he should be feeling for his Soulmate, and he wonders if he's always been this flighty. Are a few stuff ups all it takes for him to lose interest?

Maybe he wasn't as into her as he thought he was, right from the beginning. Maybe she _isn't_ The One, maybe they _aren't_ meant to be together, and maybe he shouldn't make any more grand sweeping declarations and just take everything as it comes.

"We should try again, sometime," she says, and it's the fact that she doesn't really seem to mind either way that makes up Jay's mind for him.

"Maybe," he says, and kisses her on the cheek before he leaves.

Taec is waiting in the car with the engine idling when he steps out, and as soon as Jay gets in the car he turns to him and says, "Okay, I remember the no-food-after-eight-rule and I promise I've been following it but I'm so hungry right now I could eat my steering wheel."

Jay grins. "Fuck the rule and take me to where the food is."

+

"God," Jay groans, shoving more of his Big Mac into his mouth, "fuck this is amazing. It's like my whole body is rebooting."

Taec laughs. "I know the feeling." He takes the lid off his McChicken and Jay watches, fascinated, as he lays his fries neatly over the chicken patty and then puts it all together again before taking a giant bite. 

"My brother does that," Jay tells him, "although he's more gross about it and just takes one bite, one bite, one bite until his mouth is so full her nearly pukes trying to swallow it all."

Taec rolls his eyes. "So vulgar at the dinner table. My sister doesn't even eat, so at least you know your sibling will die from heart disease rather than starvation."

"Our siblings are both fucking psychos," Jay mutters, "and our dates are both fucking failblog."

Taec grunts in agreement and they're silent for a while, scarfing down their food. Taec finishes first and leans back to stretch before picking up his food tray. "I'll be back," he says, and scrapes his chair back.

Jay nods distractedly, concentrating on eating. He's still in the middle of his second burger when he looks up to see Taec approaching with two ice-cream sundaes.

"You like strawberry, right?" Taec says, holding out the one covered in red.

Jay stares up at him. "What are you… if by strawberry you mean chocolate, then yeah."

"Oh." Taec frowns. "That must be Khun."

Jay is struck by a sudden and inexplicable burst of irritation, and he snatches the chocolate sundae out of Taec's hand. He hadn't even been planning on eating anything else, but fuck if he isn't now. "Why do you remember that, anyway? That's so fucking gay."

Taec shrugs, easing the lid off his own ice cream and digging his spoon inside to shovel a huge glob into his mouth. He notices Jay staring and grins obnoxiously, red smeared over his chin.

Jay slaps a napkin onto his face in disgust.

+

Jay emerges from his bedroom late the next afternoon, rubbing his eyes and adjusting to the light as he stumbles into the kitchen. Usually he's pretty quick to wake up, but he and Taec had stayed out late, mucking around and having fun, and he hadn't got home until the early hours of the morning. He never feels like he's slept well when his cycle is so interrupted, no matter how many hours he gets, and not even the fifty sit-ups he'd done upon waking helped very much. He groans and slumps into a stool at the breakfast bar, and his mom laughs as she works opposite him at the counter.

"Good night?" she asks.

He groans again, resting his head on his arm and watching her peel potatoes with a speed that's awed him since he was a kid. He doesn't quite know how to answer her question, because even though everything with Jihyen had been a total fucking disaster, the stuff that had happened after it with Taec had kinda made up for it. It shouldn't have, but Taec seems to know exactly what he needs and how to cheer him up, so instead of wanting to cry forever in his room about missed opportunities he's left with pretty positive feelings about last night.

"It ended up okay," he tells her. He glances up at her and she smiles, and Jay feels a little guilty about being so vague. This is his mom. He loves his mom, and they have a good relationship. Even if he doesn't wanna talk about Jihyen he should at least give her something. "It ended up just me and her brother," he offers, because he handle Taec-talk. "It was cool."

"Are you two friends now?" she asks, and Jay forces himself to sit up and consider the idea.

Taec is annoying as fuck, he's got disgusting habits, his style sucks, he's too smart and he's too tall, but he's somehow managed to worm himself into Jay's life. Jay even finds himself looking forward to seeing him, which must mean something. He figures he could probably do a lot worse—at least Taec hasn't maimed him or tried to sell of his kidneys online. "I guess so."

"Okay," she says, finishing the last potato, leaning over to kiss Jay on the forehead. "I'm glad." She moves over to the sink and Jay watches her absently, frowning. 

Now that he's thinking about it, if he and Taec are friends then that changes things. It means things aren't as casual anymore, and Jay should probably start including him more in the things he does with his other friends, especially since Taec's been so cool about the Jihyen thing. 

Jay figures he should start with something easy. He's supposed to be playing basketball with his crew after work tomorrow, and Junior's been bugging him about meeting his 'mistress' for a while now anyway, so he may as well take care of all of it the same time—two birds, one stone and one basketball.

+

His crew is completely down to meet Taec, right up until they see him. As they walk towards the basketball court and Jay points him out, Dial Tone starts trying to hide how threatened he feels by strutting and swearing, and Junior moves to walk behind Cha Cha, keeping his distance, analyzing Taec’s moves from afar.

"The fuck, Jay, you never told us he was the BFG," Dial Tone hisses, shoving Jay in the shoulder.

Jay pushes him back. "BFG, what the hell is a BFG? You're making shit up again."

"Big Friendly Giant. It was in a book, which is probably why you don't know it," Cha Cha teases, not looking intimidated in the slightest. None of them have to be, because Taec is probably the biggest wuss on the planet, but that's not what it looks like and Jay gets a kick out of watching them sweat.

"Big-ass fucking geek, more like it," Jay says dryly, watching as the ball rebounds off the backboard and nearly hits Taec in the face. "Yo, Taec!"

Taec looks up and grins widely, hurrying over to them. "Hey Jay. Hey guys, what's up, I'm Taec," he says, no reservations at all, and leans over to extend his hand out to Junior. Junior looks at it, looks up at Taec's friendly face, and after another moment takes his hand. The other two do the same, although with much less hesitation, and soon enough they're talking and laughing like old friends.

Jay is relieved that they're all getting along. It probably shouldn't matter so much, but it's like two facets of his life coming together, and it would be shit if his new friend didn't gel with his crew.

"So by my count we got five," Dial Tone says eventually, stealing the ball off Taec and feinting left around him before dodging right. "One of us gonna sit out? Or do you three think you can handle the Brothers Orduna?" He loops an arm around Junior's shoulders and they both pull faces that Jay thinks are supposed to be intimidating.

"I invited a friend, if that helps," Taec says, and Jay does a double take.

"You have _friends_?" he says. "That aren't Khun? Or Chan?"

Taec raises an eyebrow. "Um, Khun is even worse at sport than me—"

"Didn't realize that was possible."

"—and it _is_ Chan."

"Well, that explains it, then." Jay smirks.

"Okay, seriously, is he usually this bitchy with you guys?" Taec asks, turning to Cha Cha, pulling a lame sad face.

Cha Cha grins, not looking at Jay, and Jay gets a very bad feeling about this. "Looks like you're special."

"He _does_ talk about you a lot," Dial Tone adds, wisely keeping out of Jay's kicking distance. "Like, all the time. I felt like you were part of the crew already, man."

Taec laughs. "Awesome. Well I can't dance, so I'd have to be your cheerleader."

Junior lights up. "Hear that, Jay? Taec in a skirt!"

Jay shudders dramatically and wonders if killing him would count as self-defense. "That's disgusting," he says, glaring.

"He's covering his ass now," Dial Tone teases, "but you should hear the way he talks about you."

"You're such a fuckhead," Jay says, launching himself on Dial Tone and wrestling him into a headlock as the other three laugh. Dial Tone struggles to say more but Jay slaps a hand over his mouth, refusing to let go, enduring Dial Tone's tongue slobbering over his fingers. Sometimes his boys talk way too much shit. "Hey Taec, Chansung's here," he says quickly, desperate to change the topic. 

The others all turn to look, even Dial Tone manoeuvring himself around, and Taec grins and waves. "Chansung!"

Junior, seeing just how tall Chansung is as he gets closer and then seeing just how easily he catches the ball Taec throws him, says, "Shotgun."

+

Jay is the first to take off his shirt as the scores get higher. Chansung goes next and the rest of AOM follows pretty quickly, until pretty soon Taec is the only one left with a shirt on. Jay grins and is just about to make fun of him for it when he hooks his hands under the hem of his brightly-coloured t-shirt and swiftly lifts it off, revealing a body that's almost as well-built as everyone else's.

Taecyeon throws the shirt aside, muscles straining and shifting under his stupidly tan skin. His biceps are massive when they clench, and his abs are easily discernible, distinctly separated in a way that only comes with a certain amount of working out, and it is so unexpected that Jay drops the ball.

"Jay, you're staring," Cha Cha says quietly as he passes, grinning and handing Jay back the ball.

He grabs it and refuses to look at either of them for the rest of the game, even though they're on the same team.

+

"What the fuck." It falls out of Jay's mouth before he can stop himself, and he stares at Taec, not even bothering to look anything other than horrified.

Taec has had a pretty solid school schedule for the past few weeks, so Jay hasn't spent as much time with him as usual—which, although he wouldn't admit it, was kind of weird since he's gotten used to Taec's company—but when Taec called him up the night before and told him to come over he was _not_ expecting this, because what the fuck? 

"That's exactly what I thought," Jihyen sing-songs from behind them, gliding past the front door, and in the back of Jay's mind he registers that she's in a pair of the tiniest denim shorts ever created, but _Taec_ is just—

"What, you don't like it?" Taec asks, self-consciously bringing his hand to his—short! blond!—hair as he swings the door all the way open. 

Jay kicks off his shoes and steps inside. "I dunno, man," he says, making for the kitchen by backing down the hallway, completely mesmerised by Taec's head, "it's seriously whack."

"They said I had the bone structure to pull it off," Taec protests. He sits at the kitchen bench, moping a bit, and Jay finally tears his gaze away and shakes his head, moving over to the pantry and rifling through it. 

"Your hairdresser needs her fucking eyes checked. Seriously, was she a midget or was she fucking high, or what?" He emerges with a bag of dried mangoes—there are like ten bags in there, and he has the sneaking suspicion Taec's mom is buying extra for this very reason—and rips it open, shoving a bunch in his mouth.

"My _barber_ is a dude who's as tall as me," Taec says, suddenly seeming really vulnerable. He's been getting like that a lot lately, and Jay's not sure if it's just with him, because they're legit friends now and Taec cares what he thinks, but it makes him uncomfortable that he has such power over another human being and he never really knows what to say. "You really hate it that much?"

"I do," Jihyen says, passing through again, but they both ignore her.

Jay considers Taec seriously for a moment, putting down his mangoes before reaching up and repeatedly poking a finger into Taec's hair. It's prickly and kind of ticklish against his skin, and it's so different from Taec's previous floppy, nerd-Asian style that it's still a bit of a shock. "I'll get used to it," he says, dropping his hand.

Taec breaks into a grin, because he knows what that means, he always knows what Jay means, and grabs a handful of mangoes.

Jay rolls his eyes. "You're wearing a hat when we go out in public," he orders, snatching the packet back. "Or a paper bag."

Taec just salutes, still smiling.

+

Jay figures another part of including Taec more in his life means finally letting him into his house for more than five minutes at a time, so when Taec drops him off after a session at the gym, Jay invites him inside.

Taec raises his eyebrows, hands still on the steering wheel, car still running. "Seriously?"

"Stop with the eyebrows, it's freaking me out," Jay snaps. "And if you're not inside in like two minutes I'm locking you out." He climbs out of the car, not waiting for an answer, and makes his way to his front door. A moment later, the engine stops and he hears a car door slam and footsteps behind him, and he can't help but smirk as he unlocks the door.

Jehan is in the kitchen when they go inside, slurping at a bowl of ice-cream, and Jay rolls his eyes.

"Shouldn't you be at school?" he snipes, knowing he's being immature, but he really wouldn't have minded waiting longer to introduce Taec to his caveman of a younger brother.

"Shouldn't you be with your mom?" Jehan shoots back, the perfect dumb-ass, and Jay glances at Taec as he appears in the hall.

"This is the Douche," Jay says, motioning to Jehan. He dumps his backpack on the floor and grabs two bottles of water from the fridge. Tossing one to Taec, he leans against the sink and watches Taec hover in the doorway for an uncertain moment, feeling rather pleased that Taec's the one out of his comfort zone for once. Jehan turns to Taec to greet him, lips covered in chocolate sauce, and Jay frowns as Taec's face lights up in recognition.

"Hey, man!" he says.

"Taec, wassup?"

Jay watches in disbelief as Taec leans over the kitchen bench and they do an awkward chest bump. "You guys know each other? How?"

"Khun," they say, both grinning widely, and Jay can't help but admire the extent of Khun's reach.

"How do you even know Khun?"

Jehan shrugs, shoving another spoonful of ice-cream into his mouth. "We're tight. We share beanies, we like meaningful quotes, and I took the photos at his twenty-first."

He smirks and Jay flicks his open bottle at him, dousing him with water.

"Fuck off, I just did my hair," Jehan whines, lifting his shirt to wipe it off, but it's completely ruined any style—or lack thereof—he may have once had. "Thanks, now I gotta redo it, you're such a bitch." He tries to launch what's left of his ice-cream at Jay but misses, and it splatters onto the counter.

"Clean that up or I'm telling mom," Jay warns, but Jehan ignores him, already heading out of the room.

"Oh, by the way, Okcat? Dope hairdo." Jehan flicks him the V-sign and disappears into the hallway. Jay turns to Taec to see him grinning and waving, the other hand running proudly through his hair. 

Taec finally notices Jay watching and slowly lowers his hand. "What?"

"Okcat?"

"I like cats." Jay doesn't bite, though—he just keeps staring until Taec relents and rolls his eyes. "Look, we've had a few classes together, okay? I never put two and two together and I haven't been secretly stalking you. Know how many of our countrymen have your surname?"

Jay grudgingly has to admit that he's right. "C'mon, then." He grabs his backpack and makes for his room. Taec follows right behind him, a bit too close for Jay's taste, but he doesn't say anything, still too weirded out by Taec's unexpected connection to his family.

"You know, it's kinda unfair the ratio of times I've been in your room compared to you in my room," Taec comments as they enter, closing the door again behind him.

Jay collapses onto his bed and closes his eyes. "Do I have a sister you find unbelievably hot?"

"I dunno, man, Jehan's pretty attractive…"

"You can have him. Just stop talking, it fucking freaks me out that you know him and you're not ever allowed to mention him again."

Taec laughs and Jay hears him settle on the floor. He honestly doesn't really care what Taec does but he's kind of regretting inviting him inside now, because he can feel the tiredness slowly creeping up on him and he can't be bothered entertaining anyone.

They're both quiet for a few minutes and Jay is happy for the peace, but then he hears a faint rustling and Taec breaks the calm.

"Junk?" he says.

"What?" Jay levers himself up onto his elbows, squinting at him.

"Junk?" He holds up a CD labeled in marker and waves it around.

Jay shakes his head, hefting himself off the bed and crawling closer, settling on his stomach next to Taec. "Nah, man, that's Jun.K. He's a music major, done some collabs with Cha Cha and taught me some stuff. He's pretty legit."

"Cool." Taec replaces the CD and leans back on his palms, spreading out his legs. "Have you ever recorded anything?" He sounds curious and Jay shrugs.

"Nothing serious."

"Can I hear it?"

"Only if I can hear you rap."

The look on Taec's face is priceless—his eyes widen and his jaw drops comically and he looks even stupider than usual. "Who told you?"

"Chansung," Jay says cheerfully.

Taec growls. "He swore on his kitten's life!"

Jay is expectant, though, and rolls onto his side to prod him repeatedly in the ribs.

"I'm not doing it," Taec insists, batting Jay's hands away, but Jay just pokes him harder.

"Come on, you know you want to."

Taec's frown deepens. "I really don't."

"I won't make fun of you, I promise."

Taec still looks unsure and Jay finds himself quickly growing annoyed. What, so Taec doesn't think he can trust him, now? "What's the big deal? You can do it for everyone else except me? I'm not your friend? I guess I should be used to it, you never tell me anything."

"Jay, I told you, I didn't know about Jehan!" Taec says, exasperated.

"I'm not—who cares about that, that's not what I mean."

"Then what?

"I just," Jay pauses, before deciding to just fucking get on with it. "I mean, the hair, the body, seriously, you get a girl or something? Why all the surprises?"

Taec just looks at him for a moment, seeming to finally catch onto where Jay's coming from, and a sly grin spreads across his face. He runs a hand roughly over Jay's hair. "Why would I need a girl when I have you?" he coos.

"Fuck off." Jay shakes him off but Taec just laughs.

"Okay, chill, man. I got a haircut for the summer and if you haven't noticed my amazing body before this, that's not exactly my fault."

"Why didn't you say anything? I gave you shit for weeks!"

"I knew this moment would come. It was fun watching you looking like such a dick." Taec reaches out and grips Jay's upper arm, making him look at him. "Jay, are you okay? You're acting kinda weird."

"I'm not—god, would you just fucking rap for me already?"

"Why do you keep pushing this?" Taec asks curiously, but Jay refuses to answer because the simple answer is that he's not sure. Yeah, he'd love to add another item to his list to give Taec shit for, but he's also kind of annoyed that now that's _he's_ finally decided to open up or whatever the fuck, _Taec_ seems to be the one holding back. "You know what, it's okay," Taec continues. He uses Jay's shoulder to lever himself up. "I'll do it, I'm doing it. Okay?"

Taec only gives him enough time to swing around into a cross-legged position before he opens his mouth, and what comes out is really not what Jay expected. Chansung had said girls liked his rapping, but Jay seriously hadn't been banking on how deep and rough his voice could sound, and in a good way. It's not perfect—his breathing is all wrong and he seriously needs to work on his stage presence—but it certainly isn't as bad as he'd expected.

When Taec finishes he hunches over and looks at the ground, the tips of his ears glowing red with embarrassment. Jay briefly wonders how long to keep him suffering but gives in when he notices Taec's eye twitching.

"Okay, for starters, stop taking pointers from Kanye," Jay instructs. "He's got mad style but he also has the most whack breath control. And would it kill you to interact with your audience a bit, I'm sitting here watching you rap to the fucking wall. Aside from that," he says, feeling the corner of his mouth twitch up, "you didn't completely suck."

Taec finally looks up and holds Jay's gaze, making sure he's serious, and then grins back.

+

"Hey," Taec says, looking up and rubbing his eyes as Jay steps into his room the next day. "Jihyen's not here."

"I know, your mom filled me in." Jay drops his backpack on the floor and hurls himself onto Taec's bed, rolling onto his back and flailing his arms out. He hadn't really come for Jihyen but he hasn't told Taec anything about his change of heart—as far as Taec's concerned, Jay is still in love. Jay doesn't really know why he hasn't told him yet, but he keeps putting it off, allowing himself to get distracted, and then losing the opportunity again. "She told me about your essay, too. Apparently, I'm not allowed to bug you and—what the _fuck_ , man, what the hell are they?"

Taec frowns, right in the middle of putting on a pair of glasses. "What?"

Jay stares, because he'd assumed Taec had just grown out of glasses and seeing them on him now is just ridiculous. "You still wear glasses?"

"Oh." Taec's hands immediately go back to his frames, adjusting them on his face. "I know, I lost a contact and they were my last ones until I—"

"You wear _contacts_?"

Taec looks amused. "Jay, I'm Asian. The likelihood of me needing some sort of corrective lens is pretty high." Jay jumps off the bed and moves closer to him and he leans back warily.

Jay ignores him. "Can I try them?"

"Why?" His left eyebrow looks like it's possibly raised, but Jay can't tell properly. 

"I just wanna see what it's like," he insists, and slides them gently off Taec's nose before he can stop him. As soon as he puts them on his own face, he cringes. "Whoa, what the fuck, your eyesight must really _suck_ , man," he says, waving his hand in front of his face. It’s nothing more than an fuzzy blur of skin through Taec's lenses, and Jay is more than happy to take them off again and return them to their owner, letting everything get its shape and texture back.

"It really does," Taec agrees, jamming them back on. "Just be glad you don't need them. I wish I didn't."

He grimaces and goes back to his work. Jay clambers back onto the bed, pulls out his phone and pretends to go on Twitter, but he keeps sneaking glances at Taec.

His whole face looks different. The shape of it seems shorter, like it's cut in half, but coupled with the short hair his forehead somehow looks massive. It's harder to see the lines around his eyes when he smiles, too, and it's kind of weird not being able to see his exact expression, because Jay has got used to knowing Taec's feelings at any point in time just by looking at his eyes.

He stares at Taec for a little longer, not even realizing he's really doing it until Taec looks up and waggles his eyebrows comically, puckering his lips and making exaggerated kissing noises.

"Shut up," Jay says and gets revenge by leaning over and whipping Taec's textbook out of his hands. Taec grabs for it but he's too slow, and then something falls out and he tries for that, too, but Jay's already picked it up.

It's a volume of some basketball manga he's seen Taec reading before, and Taec is more than three-quarters of the way through it. Jay looks at him, scandalized. "You’re not even studying!"

"I read few pages." Jay looks at him suspiciously and he pouts. "I did! I'm just taking a break!"

"Fine. Just don't expect me to be quiet anymore."

Taec looks amused. "Like I'd make _that_ mistake."

+

"So it's Chansung's party tonight," Taec says, spread out and hanging upside down over the edge of his bed, not looking away from his manga, not even bothering to hide it anymore. Jay realises he's allowed himself to get distracted by the way Taec's glasses reflect the light, and goes back to throwing darts at the picture of Khun's face, tacked to the dartboard on the back of Taec's bedroom door.

He throws one and it hits Khun right in the middle of one overgrown eyebrow, and Taec takes his growl of victory as a sign to continue talking.

"I have no idea what it's for since his birthday was months ago, but I'm heading there soon. Apparently he's doing karaoke."

Jay throws another dart and it wedges directly into Khun's chin. "Sounds like fun, man," he says, not really thinking, "I'll come with."

"Aren’t you waiting for Jihyen?" Taecyeon asks, finally dropping his manga and sitting upright, and Jay blinks.

Right. Jihyen. The girl Taec still thinks he would sell his soul for. 

This moment would be a very good time to tell the truth. Sure, it might put Taec in an awkward position but it's not like Jay dumped her or anything. He and Taec could still be friends as usual and everything would be fine.

Jay opens his mouth and the words are there, he can feel the shapes in his mouth, but then he looks at Taec's expectant face and—he can't say it. "Right," he says instead, looking away as Taecyeon blinds him with a grin before getting up and moving closer. "I was. I am. You'll just have to go by yourself, you fucking loser." Jay shoves at him, and Taecyeon laughs.

"Who's the one going out to a _party_ while you stay and pine over a girl, alone, by yourself, _alone_?"

"Fuck you," Jay retorts, and Taecyeon grins wider, spreading his arms out.

"You really want to? Come on, I won't say no." 

Jay smirks back, because they do this a lot and Taec always loses, never willing to push it as far as he needs to go before chickening out. Jay begins stalking towards him and, predictably, Taec's smile disappears.

"Okay, what are you doing? Come on Jay, I was joking." He steps backwards but he trips over an Xbox controller and lands hard on his back on his bed.

Jay lets out a war cry and dives on top of him, making sure he digs his knees and elbows in, and Taec grunts in pain, trying to push him off, but Jay pins down his arms, pressing close.

"Jay, you're crushing me," Taec complains, blinking up at him, but for some reason suddenly all Jay can think about is their positions, the warmth and sturdiness of Taec underneath him, the way their faces are so close together, the way Taec's glasses have slipped down and sit all crooked on his nose. "Jay?"

Jay feels something—lots of somethings, too many somethings to count. There's a fluttery feeling in his gut like he's going to puke and a jerky feeling in his chest like he's just worked out for half an hour and the back of his neck is all tingly and then he thinks—fuck, this is familiar. This is what he felt with Jihyen in the beginning, what he's felt with every girl he's ever liked or loved, right down to the steadily increasing tingling in his groin but—

It can't be. It can't, because this isn't just some girl, this is Taec, _Taec_ , what the _fuck_.

And then Taec goes really quiet, even his breathing barely audible, staring up at Jay and his glasses are so far down now that his eyes are completely visible, wide and vulnerable with something in them Jay has only seen there a few times, seen but not understood because he hadn't realised, hadn't thought…

He understands now.

There's a heavy silence for a few moments until Jay can longer stand the tension and breaks eye contact. He slides off Taec and then off the bed, putting distance between them, trying to get some perspective. Taec slowly sits up and settles his glasses back on his nose. His jaw works and he looks like he wants to say something but then he shakes his head, adjusting his jeans and pulling on his earlobe.

"Stay as long as you want," Taec says finally, voice wavering as he stands up. "Just. I'll see you later…" He trails off and his footsteps fade away, the front door opening and then closing again a few moments later.

Jay squeezes his hands into fists, frustrated, and a bright glinting object on the floor reminds him there's still one last dart. He picks it up and throws it hard at the door, and it bounces off Khun's lips and imbeds itself back into the carpet.

Fucking typical.

+

Jay stays in Taec's room. He stays and he sits and he thinks about Taecyeon like he hasn't allowed himself to before. He thinks about him in the same way he usually thinks about Jihyen, about girls, and Jay knows it should be freaking him out, but it isn't.

When did he get like this? He tries to pinpoint the exact time that he started liking Taec's eyes and caring so much about his hair and his schooling and his life, but the last few months have all blended into one short period of just… good.

Jay feels good with Taec. At first he thought that was because of Jihyen, because of the highs and lows that came with a crush, but in reality it had nothing to do with her. He barely even saw her, it didn't work between them, she wasn't interested, and ultimately, neither was he. Maybe he never even really liked her and actually liked Taec all along, since Jihyen is just a more girly version of him, anyway.

Whatever the case, Jay's ready to admit that he's been pretending. Pretending to his friends, to his mom, to Taec and to himself. Pretending that he's fine, that he's normal, and that no, he wasn't just admiring Taec's height or wondering if he would find this new joke funny or thinking that, even if he didn't get a fuck, at least one good thing came out of him pursuing Jihyen. He wasn't just wishing he was with Taec instead of getting that newest flip down or helping out with the dishes. He wasn't just finding himself suddenly and inexplicably _happy_ as Taec tried to copy Rain's dance and failed horribly, nearly falling on his face but laughing the entire time.

The problem is that pretending is getting tiring, and Jay's not sure how much longer it can last, or much longer he wants it to.

+

Jay is still waiting when Taec gets back a few hours later, unable to leave without making sure Taec's okay. Taec is, but he's also more than a little tipsy when he stumbles into the room, waking Jay from his brief nap by walking into something and letting out a badly-muffled cry of pain. Jay is alert almost immediately, hurrying over and helping him onto his bed, ignoring his alcohol breath and the warmth of his skin as his shirt rides up over his stomach, focusing instead on lifting his humongous limbs enough to pull off his jacket.

"Jay," Taec says, soft and gentle, almost a whisper, waving his arm outwards. He gropes around and his palm ends up on Jay's elbow, sliding to his upper arm and gripping tight. A trail of heat follows his hand, and coupled with Jay's newest revelation it feels too weird so Jay hurries to remove it, placing it back on the bed and pulling the covers up.

"Go to sleep," he orders, pulling Taec's smudged glasses off and setting them aside. Taec does so quickly, nodding off in less than thirty seconds, and Jay hurries to leave before anything else happens.

Jay keeps thinking about Taec the entire night. He thinks about him, their time together, his feelings, thinks until he's so tired he can't think anymore, and finally falls asleep for the last few hours of the morning.

+

Taec comes to visit him at work the next afternoon to say thanks. Jay has used up all his breaktime so Taec has no choice but to watch him as he replaces the tyres on a fancy BMW, passing him overly-simplified—"the long metal thing with the circle on the end"—tools every so often.

For Taec it's not awkward at all. He seems to be quite happy to ignore the weirdness of yesterday, and talks easily about the party and college and homework and his friends while Jay listens and tries to deal with his new feelings and not to get too jealous about these other people that know Taec, friends that he does homework with and shares secrets with and spends so much time with and—

He clears his throat, forcing himself to let it go, straightens up and swipes his hand over his face to brush his wilting hair back.

Taec notices and laughs. "Dude, you got grease on you." He reaches out, extending his hand to rub at Jay's cheek, and Jay starts as his calloused thumb sweeps over his skin.

This. This is really not how it's supposed to be. You're not supposed to feel this good when one of your best fucking friends touches you, and really it's the confirmation Jay needs. This kind of involuntary reaction, on top of hours of contemplation and days of confusing feelings and weeks of spending too much time with someone he only just met and enjoying it more than he should, on top of everything that happened the day before, tells him everything he needs to know. Everything he can no longer ignore.

Taec is still rubbing, smiling and looking kind of like Jay's mom does sometimes when it's _that time_ of the month, all emotional and sentimental and shit and Jay suddenly thinks—maybe he isn't alone in all of this. Maybe this, and the way Taec always stands so _close_ , and the way his hands will linger a lot more than Cha Cha's or even Khun's do when they touch, and the way Jay will sometimes catch him watching him even though he's not doing anything, and the way Taec _looked_ at him yesterday on the bed… maybe it all means something.

Maybe Taec feels the same way.

Maybe he should just take the chance.

"Taec," he says quietly, wrapping his fingers tight around Taec's wrist, jerking him forwards and using the momentum to bring him even closer. Taec's eyes widen slightly, and Jay feels a brief burst of envy as it _almost_ looks like he has double eyelids, before his gaze is drawn to the snick in Taec's eyebrow and then down to his stupid dimples before finally resting on his oversized teeth and then Taec takes a breath to say something and—

And Jay is leaning up, moving in, and sliding his lips over Taec's, clumsy and off-target, but his intent is clear. Taec freezes for a moment, and Jay doesn't know what to think when Taec's eyes almost drift closed before he slowly and gently pulls back, hands gripping at Jay's shoulders.

"What are you doing, Jay?" Taec says quietly, not looking at him, voice wavering. He lets go of Jay to press the back of his hand over his mouth and Jay finally realises what he's done, stumbling backwards from the force of his own retreat and trying not to trip over any of his uncle's tools, because he'll be in deep shit if he breaks anything.

Taec just stares at the floor and breathes for a moment before he turns and practically bolts out of the shop, and Jay knows that something's already broken.

+

Jay doesn't see Taec for days afterwards. It also means he doesn't see Jihyen, which his mom finds strange, but he doesn't give a shit about that at all, not anymore. It's Taec he misses, Taec's bad jokes and bad fashion sense and bad haircut, making his own hair look eternally fucking professionally styled in comparison.

He keeps going to tell Taec things, to text him about the dog that just crapped on Mr Weston's prize-winning roses, or how Jehan keeps watching Japanese porn too loud and thinking no-one notices but those screeches are recognisable from the other side of the fucking country, or even about the rap that he just wrote that includes quite possibly the best line in history—involving _astronauts_ —but he can't.

He can't because he _kissed Taec_. Ok Fucking Taecyeon. The _brother_ of the girl he'd thought was his Soulmate.

_Fuck_.

+

Jay mopes around the house for so long that his even his mom finally gets annoyed and kicks him out.

"Go and talk to your girlfriend," she says firmly, herding him out of the house. "I'm sick of seeing you like this, so please just figure it out."

She slams the door shut. It opens again a moment later and his shoes come flying out, almost hitting him in the head.

Jay wishes he had the guts to tell her the truth.

+

"The fuck, Jay?" Junior complains loudly after Jay messes up a fourth time, slipping in the middle of a handspring and tumbling to the ground. "What is wrong with you?"

"Nothing." He pushes himself up and dusts his palms off on his thighs, trying to sound honest. Trying to sound like he isn't completely screwed up right now. "I'm cool."

Everything is quiet for a moment and Jay looks up to see Junior glaring at him, stubborn and irritated. Dial Tone stands beside him, eyes flicking nervously between them, quiet for what is possibly the first time ever. Cha Cha doesn't interrupt his rep of sit-ups nearby, but Jay knows he's watching. He shifts uncomfortably and stands up, disliking the thick tension.

"I said I'm cool," he repeats, but Junior snorts.

"Yeah, real convincing man."

"Bro," Dial Tone says, reaching out, but Junior shakes him off.

"Jay," Junior says, but he doesn't seem angry anymore, just resigned. Jay wants to punch himself in the face for making one of his homies sound that way. Fuck, he can just add it to list of reasons he wants seriously harm himself. "Jay," Junior says again, "I dunno what's going on with you, but we got a battle on real soon, and you've been weird for days, and we just—"

"I know," Jay says quickly. "I'm. I'll work it. I am. Working on it."

"Just. Sort your shit out and stop fucking everything up." Junior holds Jay's gaze for a moment, and Jay nods, making sure he understands that he _knows_. Fuck, does he know. Junior looks away and sighs. "I'm out, then. This is a waste of time today."

He backs away and Jay lets him, lets him grab his backpack and walk out, lets Dial Tone follow him, lets the door slam shut behind them. He falls to the floor on his back and stares at the ceiling, tracing the cracks in the paint and taking a moment to calm himself down, breathing deeply, Cha Cha working steadily beside him.

"You think we don't know?" Cha Cha says after a while, and Jay rolls onto his stomach to look at him.

"What?"

"We weren't joking when we said how much you mention Taec," he comments, finishing up and grabbing the towel next to him, wiping it over his face.

The panic immediately comes back. "I don't—"

"If you don't wanna talk about it, that's cool, then don't." He gives a small half-smile, and Jay can tell he's kinda hurt, even though he doesn't say it. He's known Cha Cha long enough to tell him almost anything, but this time he just _can't_. It's too much. "But seriously, we don't care what you do. You're _Jay_ , and we just wanna go back to normal. Do whatever's gonna make that happen, and we got your back, no matter what." 

Cha Cha stands, throwing the towel in Jay's face. Jay grunts in protest and fishes his way out of it to find Cha Cha's fist hovering a few inches from his face. He bumps it carefully with his own, and Cha Cha smiles.

+

He ends up at the basketball court on the way home, arriving there almost before he even realises that's where he was heading. He's not really all that surprised to see that Taec is already there, and Jay is sure that it says a lot about them that they both ended up back at the same place. Taec is standing at the far end, lobbing the ball towards the hoop, actually scoring baskets, and Jay is proud to see how much he has improved. 

Jay watches him for a moment, but then he finds himself concentrating on the way Taec's arm and back muscles flex in his wifebeater instead and Jay's never been attracted to a dude's body before but this is Taec, _Taec_ , and somehow that makes it all okay.

"Hey," Taec calls, startling him, and Jay cringes, because he doesn't think ready for this. Taec's stare is challenging as he raises his eyebrows. "You came here for a reason, right?"

Jay nods and finds himself moving closer, almost against his will and definitely against his better judgment, joining Taec on the court. Taec hands him the ball without a word and moves in front to block him.

"I'm not sorry," Jay blurts, squinting as Taec raises his hands over Jay's head in defense, the late-afternoon shadow completely covering him. "It would be easier if I was. But. I'm not."

Taec nods slowly. "And what about Jihyen? Will you be sorry if she finds out?"

"Jihyen?" Jay blinks, confused, before he realises—Taec still doesn't know. Jay never got around to telling him, and he still thinks—god, he still thinks Jay and Jihyen have a thing. "I'm not… we're not like that," he says, trying not to sound too desperate. "I mean. It didn't work out."

Taec stares at him for a moment, his jaw clenching over and over before he slowly lowers his arms to Jay's shoulders and rests them there, heavy and sweaty. He watches his hands like he can't control them, seeming surprised as they drape further over Jay's shoulders and link around his neck.

Jay just breathes, nervous and willing as Taec draws him closer, their torsos brushing. He drops the ball when Taec moves suddenly, spinning him and backing him up until he's leaning against the pole of the basketball hoop. Out of the corner of his eye he can see the ball rolling out onto the road, and thinks vaguely that there's bound to be an accident, but then Taec's thumbs brush over his neck and all of his focus transfers to the warmth of Taec's fingers as they trail over his skin. Taec leans in slowly and Jay stays still, sensing Taec's need to do this himself, to get to this point at his own pace. He stops when he's an inch away and Jay watches him closely, half primed for another rejection, half waiting and wanting.

"Jay," Taec murmurs, and finally presses closer to rest his lips on Jay's for a brief moment. Jay doesn't close his eyes, keeping them wide open just in case this isn't—

Taec pulls away quickly, like he expects armed homophobes to attack from all sides, and blinks at Jay before he grins a little, tilting his head and moving back in. Jay tips his head back to lean against the pole and lets Taec lead, lets Taec connect their lips again, dictate when they add tongue and how much, and then decide when they finally slow to a halt, Taec's hand cupping Jay's jaw.

"Shit," Taec says, hot air hitting Jay's chin as he breathes. He's too quiet and he sounds stunned but his eyes only show relief, and that says more than any words ever could.

+

Jay doesn't see Taec again until Khun's birthday a week later. They parted happily yet awkwardly at the basketball court and they've kept in phone contact, but it's a bit hard to discuss a gay make-out in a text.

It's probably a good thing that they've had some space, some time apart to digest what's happened, but even though Jay knows this, it hasn't stopped him from being fidgety and tense the whole time. He's constantly thinking about Taec and everything reminds him of him, so when he finally sees him again, striding through the door with Jihyen on his arm, he has to force himself to stay in his seat and not do anything stupid.

+

Taec keeps looking at him. He's doing the rounds of the room, greeting everyone, shaking hands and hugging and kissing cheeks, but his eyes are constantly drawn back to Jay and while it makes Jay feel a little bit less impatient, a little less ignored—a little bit—it's also completely maddening.

When Taec greets Khun's sisters he nods at Jay, when he fist bumps Chansung he winks at Jay, and even when he gets to Khun, pulling him into a hug before getting down on one knee to present him with his badly-wrapped birthday gift, he locks his gaze on Jay over Khun's shoulder and smirks.

He's a fucking tease and it's driving Jay a little crazy. He finds himself squeezing the denim of his jeans between his fists so hard his fingers hurt, and he wonders if Taec knows what he's doing. He probably does, he thinks, as Taec stands and finally looks at him squarely and the other corner of his mouth twitches up, and he's deriving some sort of sick _pleasure_ from it.

Jay's fuming, about to get up and go pummel Taec a little before dragging him away somewhere private, because there's another thing he's been feeling all week that's much less innocent, but then the song on the stereo changes to _SexyBack_. Khun hollers in delight and grabs Taec's hand right as he had been moving closer to Jay, shoving a pair of sunglasses on his head and launching directly into what is obviously a pre-established routine. Everyone forms a circle around them and Taec begins to rap and Khun attempts to sing and everyone is whooping and cheering and Jay wonders what sort of alternate universe this is.

Taec is good, though, much better than the first time he let Jay hear him. His breathing is much steadier and he seems to have been practicing what Jay taught him. He's feeding off everyone's energy, waving his hands to get them to sing along, before he begins to make his way through the crowd. They part for him and he stops right in front of Jay, waggling his eyebrows before he starts dancing all up on him, thrusting and shaking himself in a vague imitation of choreography. 

Everyone else is laughing at this point, Khun especially, and Jay would be too but Taec does body wave right in his face and all he can feel is really fucking turned on.

In a huge crowd of people. At his friend's birthday party. Where his object of lust is not only a dude, but singing Justin Timberlake and performing some of the worst dance moves ever known to man.

Jay thinks he must be at least seventy-five percent fucked up.

In an effort to distract himself, he launches himself up and into an empty spot in the circle, dropping and going quickly into a one-handed freeze. He follows up with a few more of his most impressive-looking break moves and he can hear the cheering escalate so he knows it must be working. When the song finally— _finally_ —changes, he leaps up and faces Taec, as if challenging him to a dance battle, but he's quite unprepared for what he sees.

Taec's eyes, obvious over the rims of his lowered sunglasses, are dark, darker than Jay's ever seen them. His jaw is clenched tight, and his Adam's apple works up and down as he reaches out to rest his hand on Jay's shoulder, tracing lightly down his skin to curl around his bicep, like so many times before, except this time there's so much more to it and—

They stare at each other for a few moments, before Jay, only half-aware of his actions, grabs Taec's hand from his arm and wrenches him through the crowd, past Khun and Jihyen, practically barrelling through Chansung and his stupidly happy friend Jinwoon, and then hurrying upstairs, directly into Khun's bedroom.

+

"Fucking finally," Jay says, pushing Taec against the closed door. He yanks off Taec's sunglasses and tosses them aside before licking up Taec's neck, surprising himself by liking the slightly rough trace of stubble against his tongue. He doesn't know when he started wondering how Taec's skin would feel, how the contours of his abs would compare to his own, but now that he has he can't stop. He's burning to know what it's like, to catalogue the sensations, to feel _everything_.

Taec bares his teeth, manoeuvring a warm hand under Jay's t-shirt to slide up his back, gripping onto his shoulder blade and holding him steady. "Jay," he says, voice even deeper than usual, "Khun's cutting his cake. We should— We can't—"

And then Jay slips his tongue into his mouth, which seems to make him realise—actually, they _can_.

+

The door flies open when Jay is on the floor, braced over Taec on one arm, the other hand up the front of Taec's shirt, touching and exploring. Taec is running calloused fingertips over the bumps of Jay's spine, breathing hard through his nose as he sucks on Jay's tongue and they're so entangled in each other that it takes them both a few moments to register what has happened.

When they do, they pull apart as quickly as they can manage, but they're nowhere near fast enough.

"Shit," Taec breathes, staring up at his sister. He panics when he realises his pants are undone and yanks them closed. " _Shit_."

"I…" Jihyen trails off before her mouth snaps shut, and she calmly closes the door again, but not before Khun and Jehan—the _fuck_ , why is _Jehan here_?—walk by and glance in.

Jay can only watch and feel like everything's fall apart as Taec jumps up and hastily buttons his clothes before running after her. 

+

Jay is still curled up on Khun's bed much later when the party's over and Khun comes to find him. Jay knows it's Khun even with closed eyes, a bit because he'd know that disgusting cologne anywhere, but mainly because he's still wearing the cowbell Jay gave him as a present and it chimes with his every movement.

"Happy birthday, man," Jay says hollowly. He feels the bed dip and a hand pat his calf.

"Thanks." Khun moves to lie on his back next to him and Jay rolls over. They both stare at the ceiling in silence. "Taecyeon?" Khun asks finally, but his tone is serious, completely non-judgmental, and Jay sighs.

"I know."

"How?"

"I don't know."

"Well… I got nothing, man. This is…"

Jay nods. "Yeah. Sorry about ruining your birthday."

"What is it with you and my parties?" he asks, sounding more sympathetic than anything. "At least you always make them memorable."

"Fuck." Jay squeezes his eyes shut, feels bile rising in his throat, and tries his best not to vomit all over Khun's bed. "What if Jehan… My mom thinks I'm in love with Jihyen."

Khun reaches down and wordlessly takes his hand, linking their fingers. Jay frowns, but he's grateful for the warmth, for Khun's unwavering support and friendship, so he holds on tight.

Still, "You're so fucking gay," he can't stop himself from saying, and Khun laughs.

+

Jehan is going to be a little bitch. Jay can tell as soon as he walks in the door the next day and he's standing right there, arms crossed, wearing a baggy pink t-shirt with the word GAY emblazoned across the front. In glitter.

Jay stares at him. He stares back but can only last a few moments before breaking into a fit of laughter. Their mom comes in carrying a full washing basket and frowns as she sees Jehan doubled over, the GAY repeated on his back as for extra measure.

"I wish you wouldn't wear that," she says, whacking him with the basket as she passes. "It's so insulting."

"Jay thinks so, too," Jehan says, snickering. "He has _special feelings_ on the matter." 

Jay manages to kick him hard in the shin while she's still not looking, and he falls over, laughing the entire time.

"Behave," she says, placing the basket on the dining table before turning to Jay and rolling her eyes. "Can you two sort this properly? I need to start on dinner."

Jay nods and kisses her cheek as she passes. He always marvels at the softness of her skin, how delicate she seems, how fragile and sensitive she looks on the outside, when really she's the toughest person Jay knows, strong and vibrant and always, always there for them, no matter what.

Fuck, he hates lying to her.

Sighing, he grabs Jehan's foot and drags him over to the table, where he finally stops giggling long enough to stand upright. They're silent for a while, sorting and folding inexpertly, but Jehan can only ever stay silent for so long. 

"I haven't told anyone," he says. He's suddenly more serious than Jay has ever heard him and he's being very careful not to look up, concentrating hard on the pair of boxers in his hands.

"Okay," Jay says, grateful beyond all measure but keeping his tone neutral. He's equally as tentative as he zips up one of his dad's jackets and folds it over, putting it in a separate pile from his mom's nightgown. He really doesn't know how Jehan will react. They love each other, and they have a relatively decent relationship, but this is completely different. This isn't something that can be compared to the time when Jay accidentally hit him in the back of the head with a tennis racket, or when Jehan shut Jay's fingers in the door on his birthday, or when Jay pinched Jehan so hard he left a scar. Or even the time when Jay ran away and Jehan brought him back, or when Jay saved Jehan from some bullies in his grade, or when their parents went through a rough patch a few years ago and they both thought they were going to break up so they were on their best behaviour for weeks, working together to show just what a good family they were—not fighting, cleaning up without prompting and even doing their homework.

This is a whole new playing field. They still have that history and they still love each other, obviously, but something is so intrinsically different about Jay now, Jay who used to be so predictable and dependable. It might make Jehan feel uncomfortable and scared, and he might lash out, and Jay is right in the middle of mentally preparing himself for the worst when Jehan adds, "And I won't. Not until you want to."

Jay blinks, waiting for the catch, the joke, the threats and blackmail, but they don't come. Jehan just keeps sorting through the underwear like they're discussing sports or take-out. "I… thanks, man," he manages.

Jehan finally looks up and smiles crookedly. "Don't get all weepy and shit. Just because you love dick it doesn't mean you can start acting like a chick."

"Okay, okay, I get it." Jay grins back, dodging as Jehan throws one of their mom's bras in his face. "I won't start bawling."

"Also," he says, pointing at Jay, looking him right in the eyes, "no fucking in the house. I do _not_ wanna see… that again."

"That?"

" _That_. The bro-pashing."

"Well, it kinda comes with the package," Jay points out, and Jehan snickers at his choice of words.

"I know, but for real. It's not something I need to witness." He pauses, before a familiar mischievous look crosses over his face and he continues, "Also, _Taecyeon_? Really? Dude, Khun's _right there_."

Jay snorts. "Trust you to like them girly."

"Uh, yeah, because I like _girls_."

"I've heard the Japanese shrieking, fucking perve."

Jehan shrugs, slapping a pair of Jay's jeans down on his pile of dried washing and reaching for a t-shirt, but they both know that Jehan is terrible at folding tops, so Jay takes it from him before it gets any more wrinkled and begins to do it properly. Jehan just watches and Jay can feel his eyes boring into his back and he knows that one of his stupid, inane comments is—

"I think I accidentally downloaded some gay shit once, if you—"

"Fuck off." They continue on in silence and Jay is just pairing up the last of his socks when something occurs to him. "How do you 'accidentally' download gay porn, anyway?" 

Jehan ignores him, picking up his own pile and trying not to look like he's hurrying away, and another thought occurs to Jay.

"And why did you _keep_ it?"

+

When Jay just can't take it any more, he finally grows some balls and goes to visit Taec.

Eventually. After three days and nine hours of dithering at home, followed by another twenty-two minutes of walking the long way and then an additional seven standing in front of Taec's house, staring at his bedroom window.

He has no idea what's going to happen. What if Taec never wants to see him again? What if the whole of Taec's family hates him? What if Jihyen punches him in the face? What if Taec's dad is home and _he_ punches him in the face? What if Taec's mom is really good with knives?

What if Taec's family has a pro-gun policy?

By this time Jay has psyched himself out of it and he is just about to turn and leave when the front door opens and he freezes.

It's Jihyen. She gazes at him steadily, unblinking, before inclining her head inside and disappearing, leaving the front door open.

Jay follows timidly, up the front stairs, onto the porch where he takes his shoes off and then through the door, which he loses his grip on. He flinches as it slams ominously closed behind him.

+

She's in the dining room, sitting primly at the table, hands clasped and folded over her crossed legs. A steaming coffee sits in front of her, the smell curling into Jay's nostrils, and his nausea only intensifies. She gestures to the seat next to her, the one that Taec usually sits in, and Jay carefully slides into it, trying not to disrupt the order of anything around him.

She makes sure she has his full attention before starting. "Although seeing my brother half-naked and writhing underneath another man was a severely traumatising experience, I want you to know that I saw mostly you, and you have a disgustingly good body, so I've managed to wipe everything but that from my brain."

"Um," Jay says. "Thanks."

Jihyen pauses at that, reaching down to take a delicate sip at her mug, and Jay remembers why he was so drawn to her in the first place. There's something about her, a certain breed of softness, of delicateness, that combines effortlessly with an inner strength to remind him, almost too much, of his mother. It's so very alluring and so completely the opposite of Taec that Jay is almost dazed, but then all he has to do is glance at the photo of Taec on the wall—he's younger, maybe in his early teens, and he's clutching onto what looks like a banjo, laughing candidly as he strums it, his ears sticking out through his terrible hair, his teeth crooked and even huger than they are now, his eyes hardly visible around his eye wrinkles—and something inside him swells of its own accord and he's completely and mortifyingly gone.

Fucking Taec.

Jihyen places her mug back on the table and clears her throat, drawing his attention back to her. She folds her hands in her lap, and Jay tries to prime himself for what's to come. "Since you thought you were so deeply in love with me until you spent time with Taec," she starts, and Jay already wants to drown himself, "I can only assume that this is new for you. And since you were also so flagrantly heterosexual until you met Taec, I can only hazard the guess that you must really like him."

"Fuck, this is embarrassing," Jay mutters, rubbing his eyes, but she grabs his wrist and pulls him closer, until they're only centimetres apart. Her eyes are like fire, Tyra Banks-style fierce, and her grip on his arm tightens with each second, her nails digging into his skin, but he doesn't even try to pull away.

"Tell me the truth, Jaebum," she demands, and Jay finally understands that he should be scared for his life right about now. "Do you like my brother?"

Jay takes a breath. If he does this now, there's no going back, no hiding it, no more of this denial shit. It'll be there, out in the open and open for the taking, true and real and…

Fuck it.

"'Like' kinda… isn't a strong enough word," he says quietly. Jihyen, still watching him closely, takes a moment, before nodding and letting go of him.

"Okay," she says, and grins.

"Okay," Jay says, returning her smile.

He doesn't want to go back.

+

Taec isn't at the basketball court this time, or with Khun, or Chansung or even at the internet cafe. He could be at school but Jay will never find him there, and he has given up completely and turned into his front yard when he notices movement out of the corner of his eye. He ducks and twists aside to come face-to-face with Taec as he reels backwards, hands held up, palms facing outwards. 

"Woah, dude. It's only me."

Jay stumbles and stares, because he hasn't seen Taec in so long and it felt as if he was going through withdrawals but now it's like he can breathe again, properly, fully, and he's still getting used to the fact that Taec can make him feel that way. Jay watches him closely, eyes scanning his face for any sort of clue about what’s to come. Taec, however, remains stoic and simply extends an arm to drape something over Jay's shoulder. 

"I was on my way home and—anyway. It's… this is for Jehan. He left it at Khun's house." He pulls back like Jay is diseased, and Jay covers the hurt he feels by picking up the shirt and inspecting it.

He frowns. "When?"

"Uh," Taec says, seeming confused, "at the," he clears his throat, "party, I guess?"

"But he was wearing this yesterday."

Taec finally looks at him, and it seems to sink in for both of them at the same time. Jehan. And Khun. Knowing what they both know, and spending time together, and sending Taec here…

"Fucking girls," Jay says, shaking his head, almost fondly. Trust those two to think they're fucking matchmakers, or something.

Taec grunts in agreement. "Should've caught on. Khun's isn't even a good actor."

They stand there for a few more moments, Taec back to avoiding Jay's gaze, but Jay can't help but keep watching him, cataloguing every one of Taec's awkward, jittery movements, filing them away in his mental library of Taec's body language. They've never really been like this before, so self-conscious and uneasy around each other, and Jay finds he wants to know all of Taec's reactions, wants to learn and memorise every single one of them, wants to know everything about him.

It's just another weird thing Taec makes him feel. He's slowly getting used to it all.

"What did your sister say?" he asks finally, saying anything to break the tension, particularly since it's a safe topic because he already knows the answer.

Taec smirks, and Jay's relieved he still feel comfortable enough to do so. "That I should hold onto you because you have hot abs. What did your brother say?"

"That I should make you the bitch."

Taec laughs at that, surprised and embarrassed, reaching up to scratch uncomfortably at his neck. "Glad to see our siblings are so supportive."

Jay nods. "They kinda are, though."

"I know." Taec smiles. It's a real smile, reflected in the way his eyes crinkle and his lips slowly part to reveal his many teeth and fuck, it makes Jay sappy. His chest is doing stupid things that should only happen in chick-flicks and it has been for a while now, and so he's not really fully in control of himself when he grabs Taec's wrist and yanks hard.

Taec yelps and nearly trips but Jay doesn't give him any time to ask questions, shoving his key in the lock and swinging Taec inside, manoeuvring him into the lounge room.

This time, Jay doesn't wait for Taec's permission before leaning up and in to kiss him, and is relieved as all fuck when Taec pushes back, immediately intensifying the moment by adding tongue. Jay can't help but get aggressive, hands on Taec's face, pushing and pulling, but then Taec moves away and the look in his eyes makes Jay relax because he knows, now, for sure—Taec wants what he does.

Taec takes the initiative, his intense gaze never leaving Jay's. He moves in again and his hands grasp at Jay's biceps and squeeze slightly, as seems to be his custom now, before they slip around and skim down Jay's sides to settle on his hips, just underneath his wifebeater. His lips work across Jay's jaw and his thumbnails dig into Jay's hipbones but Jay enjoys the small darts of pain—they remind him of the real world, that other sensations exist, and he's grateful for it because it would be easy to get carried away with this.

Taec shifts, then, and Jay grunts in surprise as Taec's hands run back up his torso and he grabs hold of the armhole of Jay's wifebeater, stretching the fabric, yanking it aside. Jay is just wondering _what the hell_ when Taec's tongue runs over his tattoo, pressing hot and wet into his skin, tracing the curves of the letters with the tip before running back over it, broad and flat and—

"Fuck," Jay bites out.

"I've wanted to do that since I saw it," Taec tells him, eyes glittering, and he does it again.

Jay reaches up in order to smack him across the head, but ends up curling his fingers around his neck and yanking him closer, so they're perfectly aligned, instead.

When Jehan comes home and finds them together on the couch he cuts sick, but Jay just laughs and pulls Taec into his room, closing the door behind them. 

+

The next day, after a text full of deformed emoticons from Khun wakes him up, after he finally manages to coax Taec out of his delirious just-woken-up stage, after a good-morning make out he could totally get used to, he introduces Taec to his mom.

And then he takes him to b-boy practice, which the others bitch about, but Jay knows the truth.

They're just jealous he has a hot cheerleader and they don't.


End file.
